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My Story – Part 2

For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

A New Hope (Outside of the JW Organization)

I waited to write this portion of my story, until I had something solid to write.

Grieving takes time, it is a process.  I could not personally skip a step.  It has been one (1) year five (5) months. I also feel Jesus had to humble me and make me rely on him and Jehovah before he could use me for whatever purpose he has in mind. I am still a work in progress. I am learning obedience now.

These are the steps I had to go through. It may not be the same for everyone.

First:  Awareness with hurt.   Second:  Anger and confusion. Third: I looked for a way out with the least possible resistance. Last:  I accepted the fact that I had been deceived and needed to move forward.

While we are listening to a talk or reading from the Bible, first comes thoughts. We think about what we are hearing, and we analyze it. Then that stirs feelings within us. The feelings could be strong or they could be fairly passive. And then finally those feelings impel us to action, or inaction. I took this path of action.

This is my story of a new life and finding the Truth. Earlier I told of finding the Bible Students from my past as a young girl. I was very familiar with everything they were doing. They did not stand still however, they are very progressive. We can bring laptop computers to the conventions and they provide the power. You can lookup multiple translations and the program is online if you have to leave for any reason. You don’t miss a thing. We have real food, with vegetables and all. It is catered. Works just fine and your families are properly nourished for the day. They serve breakfast, lunch and dinner. Children are in their classes according to age.  I love that!!! The little ones are playing with toys. They have their own teachers. Loving it!!!. I wish my grandchildren could be in that environ while at the meetings and conventions. There are no severe spankings of little children to make them sit perfectly for hours on end. These observations may only be my own personal pet peeves. I am not trying to be judge, just reporting what I see and have experienced. I have learned that just because a religion is different on EVERY LITTLE THING, that does not make it God’s channel. To see those smiling young people warms the heart. I focus on these seemingly little things because LOVE is the identifying quality (1Cor. 13:1-13). I don’t care if you are speaking the Gospel truth, I can’t hear it if you are mean, demanding, authoritative and breaking up my family.

Monthly beginning March 13, 2011 we can have Bible discussions in the evening on Sundays, from   6-8pm CST. This is a Bible Student forum, we can ask questions, listen and join in on the pre-show, sort of a meet and greet for fellow listeners. Most witnesses will recognize this as the original International Bible Students.

Bible Student Conventions are held at different places and I have been able to meet up with Friends I met at the General Convention and other conventions. See listings under conventions to the right.

There are two Bible Student groups in my area to meet with and we meet with the large, Chicago Group every fourth Sunday. There are no time slips to turn in. You just talk-talk-talk for the Lord, he is looking on and helping. No banging on empty houses, you connect with people, that want to know, as the disciples of Christ did. It’s very rewarding.

YOU DO NOT LEAVE JEHOVAH, when you leave the watchtower. There is so much to do. I have left out some of the activities, just wanted to show that there is somewhere to go.

Many have asked where is the group in their area?  The administrator of this site will connect you with a person.  I find the Bible Students are all over. I have sisters that I Skype with and share so much. The association is good for all of us.  I find that many of them have others with them in their homes during the hook-ups, so there is association. Now there is an effort to create a data base for different little classes so we can get together at conventions. There is a lot going on. It is a blessing from Jehovah.

It is a blessing that ex-Jehovah witnesses and Bible Students get along so well. There is no one telling you to hate and label our brothers.

The Bible Students have proved you do not have to have an organization with a governing body and a lot of manmade rules. Truth does not change when it gets brighter.  I have been amazed at the talks given by the different Brothers. They are not afraid to read the whole scripture. An effort is made not to take scriptures out of context just to prove a point. Someone can ask for an explanation without fear of reprisal. There are other writings in the bookroom. I am reading the series of books by “John Class”. His version of what he thinks the resurrection of the different generations will be like. It is fiction based on the Bible.

The Elders both of the Bible Students and the ones on the various hook-ups are Shepherds, not task masters. You are your own master of obedience to the father. You can make decisions that affect your family, health, special days, even whether you partake or not. The governing body in my opinion does not really have the correct understanding on Memorial according to the Bible and what Jesus actually says to do, and who should do it.

There is a another relatively new site that consists of Jehovah Witness elders and others, I call it a sister site. www.jwstruggle.com Those Brothers are still attending and trying to help others that have jumped in the water, some without a life boat. There is so much available now. Houses are empty  when you call on them now, everyone works so the internet and social networks have really been the way to reach more people. I found this link on that site and it is one many might want to read. The writer touches the heart. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/204249/1/An-Open-letter-to-the-Governing-Body-of-Jehovahs-Witnesses-Elders-Ex-Elders. http://www.jwstruggle.com/2011/06/new-video-just-finished-has-god-always-had-a-visible-organization-on-earth/

Many years ago I would have been on my own, but since the big knowledge boom I can connect with others of like faith. No wonder they say don’t go on the internet. You just might find a way to Jesus.

This is just my story, my journey. It may not work for everyone in the same way. But at least it is a start. Thank you for reading this. Come join with us and see for yourself.

For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

71 comments to My Story – Part 2

  • John S.

    Hey,and thanks for replying.What is RVIC trans.? I’m excited too for other Witnesses’ sake.Thanks to the Bible Students for being friends of J.W.s to sponsor this site,and I hope many will congregate to it and bring more input.The Bible Student literature is basically a recap of Russell’s teachings,yet they don’t require you to believe this in all the details in order to enjoy their association and functions.How different than the restrictive position taken by those who claim to be “God’s Channel of Bible Truth” on earth.We are able to exercise our faith freely as we discuss their understanding at these meetings.Much of the understanding I agree with,yet there is a lot that I don’t.But as you said,I am able to associate with my previous bros.and sisters,who have also escaped from a lifetime of mind control and tyrannical treatment.It’s also nice that when we are together we don’t just grind the axe against the old religious order,but focus our discussions on important scriptural topics.And the people present on the phone are from all over the country and oversees.(Father continue to gather your sheep so they may feed in the same pastures).I am dismayed as I search online and see so many witnesses that are upset with W.T.,yet seem to have quit studying their Bibles or having prayer and closeness to the Father and son. What I gather here is that they never had an incentive to develope a relationship with Him,or possibly they were raised “in the truth” and just followed their parents to meetings and K.Halls.So they eagerly bash the religion,yet have never read the Bible for themselves.This is a very serious bi-product of the Witness programming technique,” You don’t need to read the Bible,just move along…get in line with the rest of these dummies,and if you don’t like it,we’ll take you out of line”.I know,because some of my children don’t have the closeness to God,even not believing in Him,even though I worked hard to put it into their hearts,but not in too pushy a way.But I would never eject them from house and home for it,or cut them off from the family love and support they need in this terrible world.I continue to do all I can to support my kids,and they love me for it.They so appreciate that I stood up to the Phillistine Giant,and will stand toe to toe against anyone in that organization that wants discuss the real Bible truth.But the cowardly attitude prevails.They won’t talk to me,labeling me an “Apostate”,and then running away(from real Biblical teachings).Thank Father the truth seekers are now roving about and getting some clear understanding.(John 8:32)

    • Jacqueline

      John, leave it to me to get it wrong. http://brci.org/index.php .It is brci, a convention that was just held in Chicago suburb. Br. Gregerson and others were there and Henry said they said what you just said. “They can’t believe the ones not going anywhere”. They met with a group at a pizza parlor and could not believe these young people were not in something. However, they were still preaching to all they could, so they have a spiritual need. Rhese brothers will be checking out this website hopefully. I just emailed one and they had expressed a desire to find out more about the BS. Imagine, they didn’t know about the BS. Although there was a BS there, they don’t seem to understand unless another witness get them to see who tyhe BS are.

  • John S.

    Hi,Jaqueline, I enjoyed the study on Genesis 2,3 Wednesday nite.Looking forward to more like that.I’m praying for more Witnesses to get to the point they will start to make their personal examination of their Father’s word…feeling free to draw conclusions as to what is truth based upon their own research and the Holy Spirit’s operation.Then we can make some good meetings happen.Get some “new wine” made and “new wineskins” to put it in.Luke 5:36-39. Here’s to new wine and new patches! Do you agree?On that point,I posted a comment under the “Anointed Talk”heading you may agrre with…Ciaio

    • Jacqueline

      John I am enjoying the Wed. night studies also. It is good to have the association. I read your comment on Anointed talk and it stands by itself, and very good suggestions. I have the eight translation Bible. But I think I am going to switch to the “Emphatic Diaglott’ too, because NWT adds a lot to indoctrinate. The NIV seems to try and refute the NWT. So I think the greek text word for word might work for me. Thanks for the tip. I am just enjoying working my brain cells. They were dying out just letting others do your thinking. I remember Br. Parkinson words, “:When everyone thinks alike, it is generally because only one person is thinking.” We will have 4th Sunday with the Chicago Bible Students Sept. 25th,2011, looking forward to that. When I was little and a teenager, we enjoyed when the little cong. met with Birmingham once a month. I got to see my friends in outlying areas. John I am just loving being able to think and converse without someone trying to warn me against going ahead or lagging behind the organization. I am loving holy spirit helping me along with imput of other God-fearing christians. JUST LOVING IT!!!!
      BTW, RVIC is a good translation too.

  • John S.

    Hi Jaqueline,just saying hello and thanks from this corner for your hard work for all needing comfort.1 John 4:8. Your unique gifts obtained thru much hard work,study and many trials shine like a lighthouse far out into a stormy sea. You are much to be praised.Continue glorifying your ministry.Rom.12:21

  • JJ

    Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your story and for your kind and humble attitude.

    We all need one another to get through the trials we face in this system. Our Heavenly Father sees all that we go through whether we are Bible Student, Jehovah’s Witness, or something “in-between”.

    • Jacqueline

      jj, You are welcome. Many here are not aware of the struggle that you are going thru. It is a sad one indeed. I am so sorry, and pray it turns out well for you. I am in the home of my JW witness relatives and respect their home and rules. I was not able to come on your conference call today, but I hope the different brothers were able to give you comfort. My family does not want any literature or anything in their home or any talk in front of their children. I respect their house rules. I drive my Rv so I can have private Bible time and pray. It is strange that JW (some) can be worse than non witnesses, who would gladly welcome a religious person’s Bible in their home. They are not thinking, they are behaving like an unbelieving spouse that persecutes the wife if she goes to the JW meetings. Deprogramming is a difficult thing indeed. You will find yourself confused at your family’s reaction when they all find out, but with pray and supplication you will make it.
      Also you story is told here: http://www.jwstruggle.com

  • John Stoutenburg

    Thanks,sister ,I’ve enjoyed reading her thoughts this evening.She’s got a powerful explanation for Rev. ch. 9.( this is one chapter I’ve am fascinated by and she offered up some rare insight that was one of the best I’ve ever read).It amazes me that she hasn’t got the boot yet.

    • Jacqueline

      John, probably you haven’t noticed. The wife normally goes out with the husband, but if she is “the concious class” and not the husband, seldom will the watchtower deal with her if it is not immorality, gossip, etc. I don’t know why, maybe because the women are out there talking in the field. I would comment with what seemed a new point and the brothers would deliberately call on me. One sister in our cong. would straighten out the watchtower’s view openly in KH, they respected her, because you couldn’t argue with the logic and understanding she had. It’s like the phoenician woman with Jesus, when she said “but the little children eat the crumbs from the table.” See you tonight at Wednesday nite study if you can make it.

  • John Stoutenburg

    Dear Jacqueline,I was shocked to hear about the collapse of the stage!I hope the rest of your trip is uneventful of that kind.As I was reading thru some of your conversations,I came across the site of an anointed J.W. woman who is still in the W.T. and still pioneering yet doesn’t agree/believe in the G.B.s integrity and is helping with comfort and explanations of scripture and personal experiences.I’ve lost the address;…”pearl-doxie”,or something or other.Can you help me get that info. please? Thanks;be safe.

    • Anonymous

      John, yes I will get it for you. She was on one of our first Wed. Studied. She is enlightened, indeed. She has a site and she dialogues on another.
      PS John this was Anon, I guess because I ws on a Droid replying. Looking for her info now.

      Found it. http://pearl-personalfile.blogspot.com/

      My son just called me frantic because he knew I was going Saturday. (lives out of state) I told him he would have heard something by now.

  • John Stoutenburg

    Hello Jacqueline! I enjoyed the six screen conference call-in last night about identities of Great Crowd and 144000.The explanation from the Bible Student’s viewpoint is one I can see as reasonable;yet they kindly admit they are not absolutely sure in these understandings which leaves us freedom to work on our own faith and trust the spirit’s ability to lead us into the truth.How different this is from the threats and hateful vibes we used to get for even asking a question about the W.T. teachings.Their loving attitude alone last night I’m sure would comfort anyone having to build a faith in these important matters concerning our future and even our association with family and friends.I personally took my stand to side with my personal beliefs over any or all association regardless of what they did.because I knew that if people really love God enough they’ll eventually wake up to cultish ,unloving teachings and come back to old Johnny with apologies.(which I’ll gladly accept) I knew I’d have to plow the way thru the snow for my family years ago,but as a family head I’d been doing that all my life anyway.It’s hard I know because I lost my wife’s love and our marriage went down for the most part due to my Biblical views and then especially after I was begotten by the Spirit she went from incredulous to disgusted.And I know from talking to others (ex-Witnesses who may not have discerned an upward call,)that it takes an exercise of faith and love to even believe/understand how a person can become anointed.My brother in California doesn’t believe anybodies anointed(he’s a Witness).This is the trend I see among Witnesses today.So how is that supposed to be harmonized with the teachings of the Lord and Apostles?Now we have many supposed Christians DOUBTING Christianity’s MAIN teaching;repent,convert,receive Holy Spirit,live with the Spirit in you,teach and make disciples to do the same,wait for the Lord to come back for us to take us to heaven for the next phase of our life as Priest-Kings in the Kingdom.That’s why I say if we’re having trouble with the simply stated gospel message I reiterated( and if anyone challenges that statement of Christianity I couldn’t help them,they have to just read the New Testament.),then I wonder who has steered them into disbelief? Once we begin to doubt the anointing teaching,then we’re on our way out of Christianity aren’t we?After all it’s the main teaching of Christianity isn’t it?Christ got baptized,received holy spirit and preached that he was going away to the Father but would send back the spirit for us;simple.It(J.W.s) is just about the only Christian religion I know that doesn’t follow this instruction from Jesus.That is the main reason I say as a matter of fact that Jehovah’s Witnesses really aren’t Christians yet,not until they begin to follow Christ.And as to going into their conventions or Kingdom Halls goes;if you have the need to go to be with a family member(visiting a relative) or going to get literature at an assembly for help in converting others to the truth,I look at it like the Israelite spies going into Canaan to recon enemy territory.Buy watch out ,you might find yourself in a bee’s nest!(Personally I couldn’t sit thru 5 minutes of those false teachings and glorifying of men)But you are fighting a war on a higher level than ever before.Pray for the spirit to go in with you so the family and pressure of the old flesh wanting to take the easy road thru life doesn’t overcome the reason you are there.And don’t expect to be welcomed back with open arms,but just the opposite because the society is on the rampage about persons trying to convert J.W.s to true Christianity.Remember the proverb about staying there; if a quarrel breaks out,take your leave.May Jehovah,s spirit guide you now more than ever as you fight this hard battle of spirits.(Ephesians 6:12)

    • Jacqueline

      John, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I will definitely be in a fragile atmosphere. I will see almost every relative at this convention and I need to deal with this thing that is tearing our family apart since I am at the root it seems. I go with Jesus and the Holy Spirit and just hope God does not feel I need to learn more lessons and let me suffer.(:). I need to know what the venom is that my family is hearing and I don’t want it secondhand. I won’t sit thru all of that convention, I know how to choose the talks I want to hear. Most of my family live minutes away from the site, I can go and come at will.
      On the subject of the “Great Crowd”. Since the society does not believe that anyone will survive armageddon, they have to put the great crowd on earth, otherwise Jesus will begin his rule with nobody down here until he starts resurrection. That is one of the teachings of some religions that the eath will be devoid of humans on judgement day, and Christians will be sent back after earth cleansed. They don’t believe the Jews will accept Christ, because they say they are those “spiritual Jews”. So they have to let the great crowd stay on earth and survive, because they think of armageddon as a judgement day. Now I know now they teach that judgement day is Millenium but they still have not taken the destruction and judging of humans off the day of armageddon. I know they are smart and will have to revamp those teachings, so time will tell.
      I am coping with the shunning in my family by accepting it as if they were on a long journey and out of the country for a long time. I would have to accept it if my sons went to war and never came back, so I do what I can to cope, and I pray.
      BTW, I have been sent a little help. Many in my family has left before me but never said anything, now they are getting in touch with me since I joined facebook. Jesus said he would be with us until the conclusion of the system (Matt. 28:.19,20) sometimes it is in the form of friends and family. Also since I sent out articles from the watchtower that shows you cannot break a bound between parents, things have gotten a little better. Awake 11/8 2003 Under the Bible’s viewpoint: ” Loved ones not share your faith.”
      So, pray for me, and thanks so much for your support.

  • John Stoutenburg

    Sister Jacqueline, I have enjoyed your accurate Bible comments on the Wed. nite call in with the Bible students.As ex-J.W.s we have much in common.I live in Petal Mississippi.My wife and I were dear friends of Roscoe and Thelma Jones of J.W.s As I’m sure you knew of them as he was instrumental in winning religious freedom in America and is even noted in high school textbooks.We had close association with them for years and they were anointed and faithful to death.They were serving as special pioneers and a Circuit Overseer in the deep south way back long ago.I used to bring them fish to eat i caught in Picayune MS in the 70’s.They loved fresh fish!Spent many hours with them in ministry and meetings. I know you are helping to give comfort to ex J.W.s as they go thru the terrible trials. May the Spirit give you the extra strength to go on.Especially since you are having opposition from your family to you carrying out this new assignment.We’re pulling for you sister; the Holy Spirit is much stronger than we can even imagine so you’ll make it!Thanks for shouldering the load.

    • Jacqueline

      Thank you so much, my brother. I am at the convention in chgo. now. I will say more later. Bro John do you have the log on instructions from Br. Peter for the convention?

  • EDDIE

    Hello sisters, brothers and friends, why successive presidents of the company en broonklin exatamemte not keep the teachings of Russell? Russell was he bored a tunnel into the middle of his teachings and personal customs rules? here in Brazil, I read reports of people dying because they refused to do a blood transfusion, the society’s arguments are very vague, so that no sound basis, that we should avoid eating blood we know it, but transfusion can not equate eating blood, I attended a meeting at which the old man preached ALL that the elders would determine the brother should do because it was a Jehovah’s determination even if the brother knew it was wrong because who would obey him accountable would not mistake you would but the elder, I was astonished with all this nonsense, the Lord never errs or induces a creature to its error, as the governing body came to this conclusion that Jehovah spoke exactly? Now we learn that all these faults, where are we going? seek new ways or remain in the error? and what we learn from the scriptures, is unscriptural? I think the most correct is through ecclesias where there has been a leader to follow or determine us to do this and that, the problem is that here in Brazil many unfamiliar works as an ecclesia, understood now as we are plunged into a terrible darkness ?
    since my hugs to everyone! Eddie

    • Jacqueline

      Hi Eddie, I understand what you sre saying. You are referring to the statements made that even if the GB is wrong and we can prove it from scripture we have to teach their teaching. So others will know what you are referring to. Yes the blood transfusion issue was always a problem with me also. I see no basis in scripture for not using blood to save a life. Even in Israel if you ate blood as was the case in a battle they were not condemned to death they were unclean. However violation of the Sabbath meant death. And they were talking about animal blood as no Isaelite ever thought of eating human blood. Thanks so much for writing and translate this for your other brothers. In Christ

  • Tulsigirl

    Ah, Dear Jacqueline, I have been so caught up in my own Bible studies and an Ecclesia that I meet regularly with, I’ve not been here in way too long. I love your 2nd story about you. I especially appreciated this and I quote you:
    “Many years ago I would have been on my own, but since the big knowledge boom I can connect with others of like faith. No wonder they say don’t go on the internet. You just might find a way to Jesus.”

    When I was still with the Watchtower Society, I always got a bit peeved when they gave talks about the dangers of the internet. I mean we know there’s porn and other terrible things on here. But I knew they were talking about other religious points of view. I was really fond of the internet and never gave it up. I think with the newer generations, they are going to have a much harder time keeping the “truth” from being found!!!

    • Jacqueline

      Hi, Nice hearing from you now and last night. Getting ready for meeting myself now with my Ecclesia. I reall enjoyed Br. Russ Marten, his explanation of elections was very informative. Talk to you later

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