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My Story – Part 1

For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

This is in answer to Br. Wow, and others that  have asked why I left the organization of J….Witnesses after over 60 yrs. I begin with this info first. It was written and composed by someone else, but expresses my thoughts, then I will add my personal experience. Others may have taken a different Path, or just sat it out, I couldn’t. I have not encouraged anyone to leave the witnesses, for many elders are doing a fine job. I couldn’t have made it without my elders support. But they needed a break too. Many can sit there and ignore the constant call to herald the governing body and wait, some can’t, if they have been targeted by the society. They won’t let you live in peace as you will see from parts of my story. Many say I am not telling all, but it isn’t necessary to go into detail on the pedophilia issue,it’s painful. I am only answering a question asked of me many times. I have been called by Christ and feel deeply it would be wrong for me to substitute the governing body, for him, as my Leader and Saviour. I had no identity of my own, I was born into this religion basically but had early contact for my first twelve years with the Bible Students. I think that is why I was able to escape and build an identity of my own. I began to think for myself.

I agree that it is wrong to speak or rebel against those who take the lead in caring for and feeding God’s sheep. (1 Tim. 5:17) Jude, for example, speaks of “ungodly men” who have slipped in among God’s people and are “speaking abusively of glorious ones,” wicked men who “have perished in the rebellious talk of Korah.” (Jude 4, 8, 11)  ” I address the rebellion of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, three notorious rebels who opposed Moses and are given as a warning example for us today. (Num. 26:9; 1 Cor. 10:6, 10,11) The Society teaches, and many wholeheartedly agree, that questioning the governing body is equivalent to Korah’s rebellion. Moses was the mediator of the Law covenant that Jehovah made with the nation of Israel at Mt. Sinai, and he was the one chosen by God to lead his people. (Heb. 8:7-13) As you know, the greater Moses is Jesus Christ, the mediator of the new and better covenant. Regarding him the apostle Paul wrote: “Moses as an attendant was faithful in all the house of that One as a testimony of the things that were to be spoken afterwards, but Christ [was faithful] as a Son over the house of that One. We are the house of that One, if we make fast our hold on our freeness of speech and our boasting over the hope firm to the end.” (Heb. 3:1-6; 5:4,5; 8:6; Gal. 3:24)

Who is leading God’s people today? A Watchtower article answered: “As Jehovah’s modern-day servants, we cherish our good relationship with God. We are eager to learn and apply in our lives valuable lessons from past events. (Romans 15:4) When the Israelites walked by sight, they forgot that God through Moses was directing them. If we are not careful, we too can forget that Jehovah God and the Greater Moses, Jesus Christ, are directing the Christian congregation today.” w05 9/15 p. 20 par. 18; Walk by Faith, Not by Sight!

Since Jesus is the greater Moses, for someone to follow in the path of Korah he would have to rebel against Jesus, and not just against any man, or group of men, even if that were the twelve apostles. When Paul confronted the apostle Peter in Antioch with the need to correct him, for Peter “stood condemned,” also influencing others in following his hypocritical course so that “they were not walking straight according to the truth of the good news,” would you say that Paul became guilty of becoming like Korah? (Gal. 2:11-14)

The Scriptures foretold that before the coming of Jehovah’s day (NWT), Jehovah would reveal (or expose) the existence of an element right at the very top inside his own household—his temple—that would reflect the same rebellious attitude as did Korah, wanting to share in the glory of the greater Moses Christ Jesus, and elevating himself above all others of God’s people, even going so far as showing himself to be a god. I have found Jesus and am not rebelling against Him or Jehovah.

I am also aware of the stern counsel in Luke 12:10 Against speaking against the Holy  Spirit. I know that it was not God helping the organization make the decisions it made on the pedophilia issue. So I was not grieving the Spirit. I was aware of  young girls that had been rape victim, they are now adults. I feared the threats made to me by the Circuit and District overseer to disfellowship me if I helped the victim by supplying information that had been destroyed from the congregation records.  I couldn’t go along with the cover-up, I had to leave.

In 2007 our study issue of the watchtower said; “11 What, then, can we deduce from the fact that one of the 24 elders identifies the great crowd to John? It seems that resurrected ones of the 24-elders group may be involved in the communicating of divine truths today. Why is that important? Because the correct identity of the great crowd was revealed to God’s anointed servants on earth in 1935. If one of the 24 elders was used to convey that important truth, he would have had to be resurrected to heaven by 1935 at the latest. That would indicate that the first resurrection began sometime between 1914 and 1935. Can we be more precise?” ISam. 12: shows that is wrong to get in touch with the dead even if you believe they are anointed as Samuel was. Those are demons responding. If they had said Jesus or the helper, Holy Spirit, this would have been in line with scripture. Jesus and Holy Spirit is always taken out of the equation it seems to me, it’s troubling to me, maybe not to others.

At the end of one of the conventions the brother said “this convention was brought to you by the governing body”, not the Bible Jesus or God. Another convention at the end the brother said,” the governing body wants you to know they love you.” Jim Jones said things like that as he became those people deliverer, I and many others were shocked. Recently and increasingly, the governing body says, you cannot get to Jehovah unless you accept the governing body. There was one convention completely almost about Jesus, because persons had said witnesses didn’t consider Jesus. At the end, the convention talks went back to  extolling the governing body.

The governing body said in the November KM 2009, that private research was not encouraged by the governing body. They said gathering as two or three to discuss the bible was not encouraged, that the society has compiled all you need to know.  The NGO affiliation with the United Nations. If we went to the YWCA to swim we would be subject to discipline.

I went to Bethel quite a bit as I had a service they could use down thru the years. I was invited privately. I saw too much at Bethel!  Alcohol flowed freely in the rooms.  I know of at least one Elder that had allegedly  molested his daughter but was elder again  in six months time. His daughter clothes, eyes, make-up, got darker and darker, she dressed in black with a long black coat. One brother told me he was silenced because he refused to sanction this elders re-appointment. He was aware of my struggles dealing with peodophile victims.  It is things like this that deeply bothered me. I was exposed to to much.  Elders are appointed men.

In an Effort to get rid of me they sent what I later learned was an apostasy inquiry. My elders stated they had tried not to come to me but was being forced to come by the Society. They stated before hand they did not agree with the society and wanted me to know how the body felt. But they must ask me these questions and read me a letter and article. I listened, I tried to answer truthfully, but quickly saw from the expression on one of the brother’s face that I was getting in trouble. I followed his coaching and answered when I saw his head nodding in agreement with what I was saying. I changed when I saw alarm on his face. I had just gone to court and got a restraining order against an elder, the congregation he was in, and by extension the society,because their letter stated they had sent him. They were angry because I won, by the brother confessing, to the judge in open court. They had introduced a lie, in the form of a letter to the court,  before they knew the brother was going to confess. It shot across the city and region.   I read Raymond Franz’s books and they confirmed what I already suspected. Circuit overseers have lived in my home. I saw too much! I heard too much! I was battling every time I walked in the kingdom hall, one elder and numerous Circuit Overseers would come right up to me to start a fight, so to speak. I would not be bothering them, I just wanted peace. Something was up, I couldn’t figure out what it was that made them try to provoke me, I was a nobody.

THEN IT HAPPENED!  THE NBC INTERVIEW AIRED WITH BARBARA ANDERSON AND BROTHER BOWEN.  NOW I KNEW WHY I WAS A TARGET. They viewed me as a threat, lawsuits were being filed. I knew too much! I prayed on my hands and knees,with tears often, asking Jehovah to get me out of here to a smaller place. This was a corporation not a religion anymore, assets were at stake. I felt just leaving, would be better than sitting in a seat every week listening to the governing body say “god has held us high for all to admire”. The worship of the governing body turned my stomach,I knew about the pedophilia and their attitude toward the victims. They were merciless.  One twelve year old was read on reproof, from the stage, they say she tempted the brother, from as early as 5 yrs old. Book study was in that home. I saw too much.

It was as if scales fell from my eyes when I finally made a clean break. I am happier than I have been in a Decade. I feel holy spirit now. I have come to know Jesus again like I had before the governing body began to reign, particularly pre- 1990. It was as if Jesus called me out. I feel clean now. I have always known of the Scriptures of LUKE 12 that talks about SLAVES. Especially verses 41-48. I knew there were others that were also caring for God’s flock. I knew them from my past when all of us met at the Masonic Temple. I was told they were dead however. I often asked CO & Do about them. But with the Internet I was able to find other anointed that were caring for the flock of God. I have seen the real fury of the Watchtower Society.  I am not mentioning everything but I could never trust the present day governing body of the witnesses. I always dealt with Bethel not the local congregation, the brothers and sisters are fine, just trying to worship God and declare the “Good News.” I have no animosity against my local elders or congregation, most of those dear brothers protected me. It was better that I leave.

One part of my story is on sixscreens of the watchtower. That story continues even now as late as the summer of 2010. My family was scared by this man presence, I changed plans at the last minute.  The brother is still an elder in good standing. I have paperwork to support my claims on the sixscreens posting. Although I was reluctant to tell that story it was cleansing for me. I have moved forward since that time. I and some other elders kept everything public (before the congregation), so brothers in my area knew the facts, non of the brothers and sisters have shunned me. I don’t push myself on them however, they work my territory often. I am so happy for my freedom to discuss the bible and not have to agree and hear only nine men thoughts. I wanted freedom from tyranny and fear. Luke 12:4 says “Moreover I say to you, my friends, Do not fear those who kill the body and after this are not able to do anything more. But I will indicate to you whom to fear: Fear him who after killing has authority to throw into Gehenna. Yes, I tell you, fear this one.(NWT)  I have been called by Christ and am free now.   I enjoy my FREEDOM IN CHRIST.
This is a link to help you understand Mind Control: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sce8gBJKQq4
This is a link from the files of Barbara Anderson that might be enlightening on child pedophilia in the org. http://www.watchtowerdocuments.com/documents/Child_Abuse_in_Canada.pdf
For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

290 comments to My Story – Part 1

  • Jacqueline

    I just arrived at my destination and a family member handed me the new, New World Translation.
    It is nice. The overall look is beautiful. The grey cover, layout is very well thought out. I am sure this will be a valuable asset in the ministry. It will certainly get more reading and comparing.
    I give it two thumbs up!You can never have too many Bible translations. Sincerely Jacqueline

  • Barbara Anderson

    Anonymous, that’s not a simple question to answer even though it might seem like it would be.

    To me, religious belief is like the old saying, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” The opinion of what is beautiful or what is true regarding religious belief is not an absolute. Some people believe there is a literal hellfire, or Trinity, or immortal soul; others don’t. Certainly JWs and the Bible Students don’t. Some want to believe that C. T. Russell was God’s channel; others don’t. JWs did, now they don’t.

    Some people today believe that negative world events fit the Bible’s description of what it would be like on earth shortly before the Apocalypse begins. Others don’t.

    Are these the “Last Days?” That question has been asked by ancients for millenniums and has leant itself to serious conversation during the nineteenth-century during tumultuous societal upheaval. Throughout such times, when the end did not arrive, the event was deferred and ultimately forgotten. This has been described by historians as something like a “religious amnesia.”

    Inasmuch as my opinion about the Bible Student movement and $2.50 will get you a ticket to travel one-way on the New York subway, I believe it best not to make a judgment call. 😉

    I have opinions about a lot of things, but that shouldn’t make them relevant to anyone else unless I can present facts that are incontestable and that’s not easy to do when it comes to “belief.”

    We’re all so uniquely different in so many ways. And as you know, beliefs are subjective based on DNA, culture, environmental factors, etc. Therefore, few of us can be objective on the subject of religion. If the Bible Student Movement brings comfort and solace to followers, I’m sensitive to their feelings.

    If the Bible Student movement is factually harmful to followers then I will voice strong objections just like I do about the Jehovah’s Witnesses movement. For 43 years, my JW belief brought me great satisfaction, although the majority of people would disagree with that belief system if asked. But when that religion crossed the boundaries of what is considered harmless and became injurious to children, women and families as a whole with wounding policies and hurtful words then I’m no longer neutral to belief.

    I hope my comments answered your inquiry satisfactorily.

    • Anonymous

      thanks for your opinion,interesting to see what your current beliefs are
      But speaking for myself,I choose Barbara Anderson’s beliefs when she was in the JWs._
      This is kindly observed of course

    • Jacqueline

      Funny how things work out. .I am the one that needed your logical, simple statement of belief. The last paragraph has helped me explain immediately,without being offensive to some of my relatives one reason for my exit. Most people I find have selective memory on the terrible events of my struggles with the JW organization.
      So you have helped me articulate a non offensive response.
      Thanks Barbara. See you later this month. In Christian love, Jacqueline.

  • Barbara Anderson

    Hi Anonymous. No I haver not converted to the Bible Students movement after I left JWs. Why do you ask?

    • Anonymous

      Just for curiocity’s sake,no worries
      I know some exJWS go into the Bible Students’ faith because they consider them the roots of their religion
      How do u see the Bible Students movement btw?

  • Jacqueline

    Strange you should ask today as I will pass by her house on my way to Alabama. She and I enjoy lovely conversations. The answer is no. She is a writer and help victims of sexual abuse recover. Google her and the LLC web address is he r eebsite. As you probably know she wrote most of green history book of JW. Proclaimers book. Ok, hitting the road again will tell her to go to site if she can and say hello to you.

  • Jacqueline

    This is a link for sale of New Zealand property this week, They say others wanted property but the witnesses wanted it to go to a faith based company.
    I ran across this because I was called during our Wednesday nite study,a brother from New York was informing persons in Alabama about the sale of the buildings in New York. They didn’t believe him and wanted to see if I knew about the sales. They want the warwick links and I ran across this one also.
    They could not believe they sold 345,million, 28 million worth of property without congregations knowing.

    • powmar61

      Jehovah’s Witnesses DO NOT worship the Governing body. We worship the only true God Jehovah and his Son but keep on telling lies. That’s what you people are all about Isn’t it ????????

      • Jacqueline

        Power 61, thank you for your comments and welcome. If I have offended you that wasn’t my intention. This is my story and experience being a witness for 61 years. Yours may be different and it is not my place to cause you spiritual harm. So many have had similar experiences as mine and it is for those that I tell my story. They know that there are others hurt like them.
        I am doing just fine now however but I want to help others heal and really get too know Jehovah John 17:3 in the New New world translation says that. Tske care Jacqueline

      • Peter K. (admin)

        powmar61 – Thanks for honestly and boldly speaking up on our site. We want to encourage Jehovah’s Witnesses to share their faith here and to have an open discussion. If you feel we are wrong in what we say, we want to here from you.

        I can understand how you would be offended by the charge that some Jehovah’s Witnesses worship the Governing Body. I believer that if I told Catholics that they worship the Pope, tradaiton and their Catholic organization they would offended as well. Of course, I agree that the big difference is that they beleive in Hell, Trinity, Immortality of the Soul, seven sacraments and other traditons not in the Bible.

        Now, if I read a scripture to a Catholic that seems to contradict their point of view, if in turn their answer is to quote the Pope or Catholic tradition, are they not placing more weight on their earthly organization than on the plane statements of scripture?

        I have a question for you or anyone else that wants to comment. This is not an attack. I simply want your point of view, to get your perspection.

        Question: If I read a scripture to a Jehovah’s Witness that seems to contradict their point of view, if in turn their answer is to quote a Watchtower magazine or other JW written material, are they not placing more weight on their earthly organization than on the plane statements of scripture?

    • powmar61


      • Jacqueline

        Power 61, again thank you for comments. Jehovah is indeed all mankinds Father. During 1,000yr reign of Christ All mankind will get to know Jehovah’s will for them. Then Rev. 21:1-5 says he will tent with those that are obedient. So to judge us now is to step ahead of the only true Judge of me and you. Perhaps as you consider some of the other material you will come to see the Bible Students from Br Russell’s time are friends of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Sincerely, Jacqueline.

  • Jacqueline

    Hi Bob, I am really glad I waited to reply to you, so I could see where you are coming from. I respect my family that are witnesses visiting here in my house. They need to be gone before I sit at the computer. They don’t need to be made uncomfortable so that is why my reply is late..
    You have talked to me and Henry before on issues and I have listened. You, I and anyone should have the right to speak and have an audience that listens. That is true Christian freedom, and we remain friends.
    I will speak only for myself and no one else. There is in my opinion, no religion on this earth that has all truth and got it all right. I don’t believe that there is any one man or body of men that understands all scripture. I hold no men but Christ Jesus (not a man now, but) up as my savior and leader.
    I love being in association with the BS. Have I run across those that insist on their way of doing things and call me out on it? Yes I have, but overall I find the Bible Students to hold to the scriptures quite tightly Are they perfect, no I find them to be very human. Are they like the apostles when with Jesus, arguing on the road, wondering who he really is, being like Barnabas and Paul in sometimes heated argument and separating but coming together as brothers still? Yes I do see all those human traits and frankly I am glad to see it not hid as the governing body and the witnesses try to say they are so holy and the GB is infallible.
    So Bob it’s like this for me, I have escaped Slavery (anniversary of Martin Luther King march on Washington this week). I have come thru the underground railroad, praying to God that he have somebody on the other end in the northern states to help me by taking me in. Those slaves would die for those men on the other end of the underground railroad. Were these perfect men, no, but they were trying to the best of their ability to recognize that Blacks were as much God’s children as all other men. And they took them in and steadied them. They didn’t try to cause them hardships or make them stumble or put other enslaving practices before them and take them off after themselves in some type of personal vendetta.
    The BS were an answer to my direct and specific prayer to God. They pull me up out of the hole as I escaped from slavery to the watchtower bible and tract society and the governing body.
    I have made great progress and strides in my walk and understanding of the Bible as not a soul has tried to hinder me.
    I have not tried to make the walk of any Jehovah Witness a hard one. I respect them and now know it is okay. Armageddon is not JUDGEMENT DAY.
    Mankind is not on trial for life until the thousand year reign of Christ that I feel is still future and has not started yet. As a BS I can state what I see from the scriptures and not have a fear of rejection. If there are any that hold to another thought on it, that’s okay.
    But you Bob on the other hand try to make people go along with you. I am not stupid, I have a brain and can see clearly how the BS are made up. I don’t really need all your links as I have been to them long ago and you know it. I got my first convention report from Dawnbible.org and spoke with a sister that pointed me to Chicago for my closest one. They don’t feel like you do that oh no I want to send her only to ours. I go to the General Convention and Dawn and all the other brothers that want to attend are there and they express themselves.
    I have talked to persons from the free Bible Students and they were not like you paint them up to be, they were nice. Sharon is isolated and when she wanted some face to face she has visited with the Laymans group. One of my sons have visited with the Laymens in California on occasion and found only one thing objectionable, but found them to be nice.
    Bob I find that a lot of us xjw bring to the table that bit of divisiveness. Someone asked the other day (don’t remember who) if I was going to the Dawn Convention. I didn’t know what they were talking about, because my experiences with Dawn is not divisive. So I checked and they had the same convention listed as the other Bible Student sites, Milwaukee.
    I Personally will not let any be like a rock hidden beneath the water for me. I can assimilate knowledge from a number of sources as I feel that makes me a well rounded person.
    You have a personal grind I feel with somebody in the Bible Student movement and you want your way and they are being men and standing up to you and you don’t like it.
    This site is different, it is a place for those escaping to find a resting place as they steady themselves. They don’t need you making decisions for them.
    Maturity would dictate that you take this fight up with the actual men that you are concerned with and not on this site.
    There are Bible Student sites that will debate you. You will have not mostly xjw but you will have men that have had the freedom to look into the bible for decades without interference from an organization.
    Why don’t you level the paying field by taking your discussion to them in person or on those sites. Br. Rolando Rodriquez I believe runs such a site.
    We often will not print comments on this site that pull away from the guide lines and if we have the email we will send you to a site that will debate on a personal grind.
    As one of the admin. I feel for this site you are trying to put a stumbling block for the people that Jehovah has helped to get to a place where their belief system is sort of the same but with freedom.
    I feel you are fighting the Spirit of God and we are helping you by approving your comments. We will follow the guide lines so the site. I have published them before and will try to find them again.
    Yours is a persona vendetta with some unknown to me Bible Student brothers. You are welcome to stay within the guide of the site with the Bible and expressions but not your personal vendetta. Your comments will not be approved if you continue.
    Others of admin might correct me on this but I am just telling you what I will do. I am not speaking for Br. Peter or the other admin and they may undo any comments that I take off and I will accept it but if they don’t I will unapproved your personal vendettas comment. You need to go directly to that person or persons that have caused you grief.
    I did it by going directly to the society not the elders or CO, DO. The playing field was level so my suggestion is that you do the same. In Christian Fellowship, Jacqueline

  • Jacqueline

    Just got to come on tonight and check out the conversations. Henry has been locked in battle with his elder relative in Mississippi that found out he is a BS.

    I have had to discuss the situation about the witnesses and the recent news article about the pedophilile cases being filed with a city chamber of commerce president. So it has been a full day here and on the site. I appreciate the solid arguments given. jacqueline

    • K

      Jacqueline, why is Henry battling an elder because he found out he’s a Bible student?

      • Jacqueline

        2Corinthians 12:9 “but he said to me. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

        He has a relative from Mississippi that called him and in the course of the conversation he asked if Henry went to the convention this summer. His reply was yes. However this elder thought it was a JW convention. Henry decided to be courageous and call him back to make sure he had the facts. In Henry’s words it was an emotional disaster for him, as the elder was laughing and misapplying scriptures and very harsh speaking and condescending to him. However when you hear what Henry actually said, he was in God’s Spirit victorious, for he set his cousin 52yr old mind to thinking. He never heard of Br. Rutherford, Bible Students or what Acts 20:20 really means and refused to open the bible and discuss it. He will no doubt, I explained to Henry tell some of his elders about the conversation. Maybe go on the internet and look it up. I mentioned since the call came out of the blue (haven’t heard from this cousin in many years) this most likely was angels doing their job. Maybe it isn’t his cousin but someone he might discuss it with that needs a prayer answered.
        That is how my prayer was answered thru someone else that wasn’t aware they were setting me on the right path by knowing and telling me who the people were with the Chicago Bible. org.
        He was happy all day and then this cousin just crushed him so he thinks. He was a crushed reed but now hopefully he will awaken and realize he has been used by the Spirit of God to declare Jesus. Because his cousin only mentioned the organization and the governing body thruout the conversation and Henry quoted the Bible and Jesus. This elder would not get his Bible out at all and told Henry they should never talk again.
        PS: to this story is that Henry is the only witness in the family that has ever been nice to this long lost cousin, all other witneses in the family never accepted him as he was born outside of the marriage arrangement. Henry made him aware of his visits to him as he struggled with finding them and mentioned that the elder and ministerial servants in their family would not accept nor talk to him although a brother.
        So although Henry felt he wasn’t effective, I see a whole new world that has been opened up to this cousin and perhaps his isolated elders in Mississippi as he tell them about his experience with a Bible Student. Their ears will burn as they try to see if the Bible Students still exist. Before I travel for a few days I will check up on Henry to encourage him. Also I will advise him to come to the site to check for responses as this is a travel weekend for me and I won’t be near a computer until nightfall.

  • Jacqueline

    I just had to share this from my friend and dear Sis. Sharon.


  • Jeff M

    I enjoy the conference there as it is here in the Chicago area where I live. I’ve been there from time to time. Unfortunately they’ve changed the weekend that they used to have it on and now it is during one of our special convention weekends where brethren come in their RV’s, campers, or bring tents and have a camping weekend together.

  • Anonymous

    Interesting site regarding child abuse and the JW’s


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