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My Story – Part 1

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This is in answer to Br. Wow, and others that  have asked why I left the organization of J….Witnesses after over 60 yrs. I begin with this info first. It was written and composed by someone else, but expresses my thoughts, then I will add my personal experience. Others may have taken a different Path, or just sat it out, I couldn’t. I have not encouraged anyone to leave the witnesses, for many elders are doing a fine job. I couldn’t have made it without my elders support. But they needed a break too. Many can sit there and ignore the constant call to herald the governing body and wait, some can’t, if they have been targeted by the society. They won’t let you live in peace as you will see from parts of my story. Many say I am not telling all, but it isn’t necessary to go into detail on the pedophilia issue,it’s painful. I am only answering a question asked of me many times. I have been called by Christ and feel deeply it would be wrong for me to substitute the governing body, for him, as my Leader and Saviour. I had no identity of my own, I was born into this religion basically but had early contact for my first twelve years with the Bible Students. I think that is why I was able to escape and build an identity of my own. I began to think for myself.

I agree that it is wrong to speak or rebel against those who take the lead in caring for and feeding God’s sheep. (1 Tim. 5:17) Jude, for example, speaks of “ungodly men” who have slipped in among God’s people and are “speaking abusively of glorious ones,” wicked men who “have perished in the rebellious talk of Korah.” (Jude 4, 8, 11)  ” I address the rebellion of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, three notorious rebels who opposed Moses and are given as a warning example for us today. (Num. 26:9; 1 Cor. 10:6, 10,11) The Society teaches, and many wholeheartedly agree, that questioning the governing body is equivalent to Korah’s rebellion. Moses was the mediator of the Law covenant that Jehovah made with the nation of Israel at Mt. Sinai, and he was the one chosen by God to lead his people. (Heb. 8:7-13) As you know, the greater Moses is Jesus Christ, the mediator of the new and better covenant. Regarding him the apostle Paul wrote: “Moses as an attendant was faithful in all the house of that One as a testimony of the things that were to be spoken afterwards, but Christ [was faithful] as a Son over the house of that One. We are the house of that One, if we make fast our hold on our freeness of speech and our boasting over the hope firm to the end.” (Heb. 3:1-6; 5:4,5; 8:6; Gal. 3:24)

Who is leading God’s people today? A Watchtower article answered: “As Jehovah’s modern-day servants, we cherish our good relationship with God. We are eager to learn and apply in our lives valuable lessons from past events. (Romans 15:4) When the Israelites walked by sight, they forgot that God through Moses was directing them. If we are not careful, we too can forget that Jehovah God and the Greater Moses, Jesus Christ, are directing the Christian congregation today.” w05 9/15 p. 20 par. 18; Walk by Faith, Not by Sight!

Since Jesus is the greater Moses, for someone to follow in the path of Korah he would have to rebel against Jesus, and not just against any man, or group of men, even if that were the twelve apostles. When Paul confronted the apostle Peter in Antioch with the need to correct him, for Peter “stood condemned,” also influencing others in following his hypocritical course so that “they were not walking straight according to the truth of the good news,” would you say that Paul became guilty of becoming like Korah? (Gal. 2:11-14)

The Scriptures foretold that before the coming of Jehovah’s day (NWT), Jehovah would reveal (or expose) the existence of an element right at the very top inside his own household—his temple—that would reflect the same rebellious attitude as did Korah, wanting to share in the glory of the greater Moses Christ Jesus, and elevating himself above all others of God’s people, even going so far as showing himself to be a god. I have found Jesus and am not rebelling against Him or Jehovah.

I am also aware of the stern counsel in Luke 12:10 Against speaking against the Holy  Spirit. I know that it was not God helping the organization make the decisions it made on the pedophilia issue. So I was not grieving the Spirit. I was aware of  young girls that had been rape victim, they are now adults. I feared the threats made to me by the Circuit and District overseer to disfellowship me if I helped the victim by supplying information that had been destroyed from the congregation records.  I couldn’t go along with the cover-up, I had to leave.

In 2007 our study issue of the watchtower said; “11 What, then, can we deduce from the fact that one of the 24 elders identifies the great crowd to John? It seems that resurrected ones of the 24-elders group may be involved in the communicating of divine truths today. Why is that important? Because the correct identity of the great crowd was revealed to God’s anointed servants on earth in 1935. If one of the 24 elders was used to convey that important truth, he would have had to be resurrected to heaven by 1935 at the latest. That would indicate that the first resurrection began sometime between 1914 and 1935. Can we be more precise?” ISam. 12: shows that is wrong to get in touch with the dead even if you believe they are anointed as Samuel was. Those are demons responding. If they had said Jesus or the helper, Holy Spirit, this would have been in line with scripture. Jesus and Holy Spirit is always taken out of the equation it seems to me, it’s troubling to me, maybe not to others.

At the end of one of the conventions the brother said “this convention was brought to you by the governing body”, not the Bible Jesus or God. Another convention at the end the brother said,” the governing body wants you to know they love you.” Jim Jones said things like that as he became those people deliverer, I and many others were shocked. Recently and increasingly, the governing body says, you cannot get to Jehovah unless you accept the governing body. There was one convention completely almost about Jesus, because persons had said witnesses didn’t consider Jesus. At the end, the convention talks went back to  extolling the governing body.

The governing body said in the November KM 2009, that private research was not encouraged by the governing body. They said gathering as two or three to discuss the bible was not encouraged, that the society has compiled all you need to know.  The NGO affiliation with the United Nations. If we went to the YWCA to swim we would be subject to discipline.

I went to Bethel quite a bit as I had a service they could use down thru the years. I was invited privately. I saw too much at Bethel!  Alcohol flowed freely in the rooms.  I know of at least one Elder that had allegedly  molested his daughter but was elder again  in six months time. His daughter clothes, eyes, make-up, got darker and darker, she dressed in black with a long black coat. One brother told me he was silenced because he refused to sanction this elders re-appointment. He was aware of my struggles dealing with peodophile victims.  It is things like this that deeply bothered me. I was exposed to to much.  Elders are appointed men.

In an Effort to get rid of me they sent what I later learned was an apostasy inquiry. My elders stated they had tried not to come to me but was being forced to come by the Society. They stated before hand they did not agree with the society and wanted me to know how the body felt. But they must ask me these questions and read me a letter and article. I listened, I tried to answer truthfully, but quickly saw from the expression on one of the brother’s face that I was getting in trouble. I followed his coaching and answered when I saw his head nodding in agreement with what I was saying. I changed when I saw alarm on his face. I had just gone to court and got a restraining order against an elder, the congregation he was in, and by extension the society,because their letter stated they had sent him. They were angry because I won, by the brother confessing, to the judge in open court. They had introduced a lie, in the form of a letter to the court,  before they knew the brother was going to confess. It shot across the city and region.   I read Raymond Franz’s books and they confirmed what I already suspected. Circuit overseers have lived in my home. I saw too much! I heard too much! I was battling every time I walked in the kingdom hall, one elder and numerous Circuit Overseers would come right up to me to start a fight, so to speak. I would not be bothering them, I just wanted peace. Something was up, I couldn’t figure out what it was that made them try to provoke me, I was a nobody.

THEN IT HAPPENED!  THE NBC INTERVIEW AIRED WITH BARBARA ANDERSON AND BROTHER BOWEN.  NOW I KNEW WHY I WAS A TARGET. They viewed me as a threat, lawsuits were being filed. I knew too much! I prayed on my hands and knees,with tears often, asking Jehovah to get me out of here to a smaller place. This was a corporation not a religion anymore, assets were at stake. I felt just leaving, would be better than sitting in a seat every week listening to the governing body say “god has held us high for all to admire”. The worship of the governing body turned my stomach,I knew about the pedophilia and their attitude toward the victims. They were merciless.  One twelve year old was read on reproof, from the stage, they say she tempted the brother, from as early as 5 yrs old. Book study was in that home. I saw too much.

It was as if scales fell from my eyes when I finally made a clean break. I am happier than I have been in a Decade. I feel holy spirit now. I have come to know Jesus again like I had before the governing body began to reign, particularly pre- 1990. It was as if Jesus called me out. I feel clean now. I have always known of the Scriptures of LUKE 12 that talks about SLAVES. Especially verses 41-48. I knew there were others that were also caring for God’s flock. I knew them from my past when all of us met at the Masonic Temple. I was told they were dead however. I often asked CO & Do about them. But with the Internet I was able to find other anointed that were caring for the flock of God. I have seen the real fury of the Watchtower Society.  I am not mentioning everything but I could never trust the present day governing body of the witnesses. I always dealt with Bethel not the local congregation, the brothers and sisters are fine, just trying to worship God and declare the “Good News.” I have no animosity against my local elders or congregation, most of those dear brothers protected me. It was better that I leave.

One part of my story is on sixscreens of the watchtower. That story continues even now as late as the summer of 2010. My family was scared by this man presence, I changed plans at the last minute.  The brother is still an elder in good standing. I have paperwork to support my claims on the sixscreens posting. Although I was reluctant to tell that story it was cleansing for me. I have moved forward since that time. I and some other elders kept everything public (before the congregation), so brothers in my area knew the facts, non of the brothers and sisters have shunned me. I don’t push myself on them however, they work my territory often. I am so happy for my freedom to discuss the bible and not have to agree and hear only nine men thoughts. I wanted freedom from tyranny and fear. Luke 12:4 says “Moreover I say to you, my friends, Do not fear those who kill the body and after this are not able to do anything more. But I will indicate to you whom to fear: Fear him who after killing has authority to throw into Gehenna. Yes, I tell you, fear this one.(NWT)  I have been called by Christ and am free now.   I enjoy my FREEDOM IN CHRIST.
This is a link to help you understand Mind Control: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sce8gBJKQq4
This is a link from the files of Barbara Anderson that might be enlightening on child pedophilia in the org. http://www.watchtowerdocuments.com/documents/Child_Abuse_in_Canada.pdf
For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

290 comments to My Story – Part 1

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    Finally the articles are being printed showing the governing body policies.

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    Emotional Tip for today:
    Ultimatums are always emotional warfare. They are always indicative of your loved ones feeling powerless to save you from armageddon or second death. And with most Jehovah witnesses they’re almost always fake.
    The animal instinct part of the brain is activated and it is nearly impossible to negotiate in this state. So let them cool off when they say you can’t see the grandkids or we never want you to visit, text or phone. Say, ” may we think about it and talk at another date, I am feeling overwhelmed by this now”.
    If you want to keep your opposing loved one in the game of negotiating respect them enough to honor the fact that they still have enough of their own chips to play.
    Then pray. Good day

    • Marjo

      I think Jehovah doesnt like it when people are using their kids as their shield in their conflicts with familymembers. In that point they should wake up and see…that this isnt right. That kind of behavior is doing a huge damage for children. We could ask them…what is more iportant…childs health or obey human made governing body. I can imagine child in that point is thinking is there something wrong with me that I cant see grandparents.

      • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

        Marjo, hello. You know I never thought about the fact the grandkids might think something is wrong with them. That is a form of child abuse to a certain extent. A child will grow up and find out the truth and will start a cycle of being angry with their parents because the grandparent will be dead. It can hurt their heart because they felt they should have spoken to their grandparent.
        This more deadly than a surface look suggests. The governing body of Jehovah witnesses have blood on their hands and like satan they detrot families like he did from the start.
        Our hope and faith is in the Ransom for it can undo the sins of even the governing body, who has set themselves up as 7 gods.
        It will be forgotten during the thousand years but for now grandchildren will siffer for their parents worshiping the false gods the governingbody.
        But thanks for that aspect. I never thought about it from that angle.

  • George

    My wife and I have been JW’s for a long while now I see so much organisation but not the love. I do have a couple questions though. When the bible talks about The resurrection the first and the last and what not. What do the bible students teach on these matters. My wife and I started noticing inconsistency of scriptural thought with the GB. Any help would be appreciated. Also are there any congregations in Indiana? Thanks again.

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    This was sent by Una. Apparently some thought the witnesses not voting caused them to lose the election. Hopefully these poor brothers and sisters recover.

    See more articles here: https://www.google.com/search?q=witnesses+gased+in+Angola+convention&rlz=1C1GGGE_en___US491&oq=witnesses+gased+in+Angola+convention&aqs=chrome..69i57.11153j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    Dear brothers I will make 2 comments on this one space so other comments can proceed.

    (1) Kent (greg) Mother passed and I will try to speak with him today and enter more info or ask him to come on if he has time.

    (2) A link to read in your spare time. It is Mormon about consequences of leaving that religion also, it is short and food for thought.

    (3) I will attempt to protect your computers from links etc in comments if I detect a problem, whether real or suspected. I report to admin and we do work behind the scene. As Christians it sometimes takes a minute to get to know each other and stance have to be taken to let us know we can speak out. Comments won’t be approved with links from non sensical places from all over the internet and you tube. Musical concerts etc. All of us seem to be holding to that now and our computers are a little safer although mine got harmed.

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I think we need a good laugh, normally I would just enjoy myself but this is just funny! Satire but funny.

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I wanted to post this for future. I was told to destroy all victims files also and not go to court or get disfellowshipped. I had lost this.


  • Jacqueline(Bible student)

    Greg, my son will communicate with Br. Peter and Henry called to say he will be out there with my son at the hospital. I want him to come on the site and give an update or Sr. Marvie will post because I have been told I can’t move about for first 48 hours. My son just texted to say he is on the way from Indy now. The other sons and family in Birmingham have all called and expressed their love and concern. So glad to see the organization has not hardened their good consciences put in them from birth. God and Jesus won. Praise Them! See you guys tomorrow.

  • Lee Anthony (Brandon)

    Hello messenger,
    At top of page there are some under annointed talk. Go to older coments and search you can find some there. Here is one I found pretty quickly. http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/anointed/comment-page-19/#comment-1275111

  • messenger

    Hello Jacqueline.

    I came to your web site to read some experiences from Christians you described as anointed. Particularly I’m interested in reading the experiences these ones had causing them to reach that conclusion. If there are those type of experiences at this site please let me know the link I should open to see those.

    Thank you,

    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

      Messenger, Anointed talk topic was put there because some former witnesses suggested it. Bible students consecrate themselves and accept the invitation extended by Jesus to run for the High Calling. Not every Bible student but most do. We don’t quite have the concept of special people being picked out in the way witnesses describes it.
      Receiving the Holy Spirit or being aware of it was an experience for me as I grasped the understanding that the call to run was open for me. That is as close as I got to the witness thought of anointing.
      So maybe some that are Anointed in the witness sense might want to share their experience. Also the topic mentioned by Brandon might yield their thoughts on being Anointed. Also: http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/anointed/

      Let me ask if you have some thoughts on how a witness would know he or she is anointed.
      I think of it as receiving the Holy Spirit and your mind opening up to a new relationship you can have with Christ in the heavenly realm. I also believe the great crowd is a heavenly group of non 144,000 Christians serving in the heavenly temple and the brides companions in heaven. Thus a heavenly group.
      Let’s open a discussion. What are your thoughts?

    • greg (Bible Student)


      I’d like to elaborate a little on what Jacqueline has already expressed. But first, a little disclaimer: I might learn some new information subsequent to writing this that may change my understanding to some extent, but currently it is my understanding that the Bible teaches us that the time we are living in the is time of the harvest, that is to say, the time when persons who eagerly seek to inherit (not just as as subjects, but as actual HEIRS, a.k.a. Part-Owners) the Kingdom are being examined to see if they sufficiently demonstrate those qualities of Christ that would be fit for use by Jesus in the coming Peaceful Kingdom. These persons won’t ever really know if they have been selected (elected, or counted worthy) by Christ until they are actually resurrected to spirit life and get to hear Jesus pronounce, “Well done, my faithful servant.”

      As a JW, I too had (been given) the belief that there are some “special” persons who somehow “just know” they have the heavenly hope, and so they are blessed and “compelled” to partake of the Bread and Wine. But as I studied the Bible more carefully, I realized and came to believe that the DOOR to the heavenly calling is still open to any and all who would “run the race with endurance” and “partake of the cup of sufferings of Jesus” and “follow Him on the narrow way” right into death. That’s it. It’s up to us to choose whether or not we run the race. It’s up to us to try and find that narrow and difficult way in the dwindling light that’s left of the harvest day.

      What is NOT up to us is whether or not we are elected. That is up to Christ Jesus to decide. We can all get “prettied up” and try to make ourselves attractive to the Lord, but he chooses his Bride. Not us, ourselves.

      Moreover, it is Jesus himself who will close the Door to the Heavenly calling once his Bride-class is complete and then, afterwards, that is to say after the smoke and dust has settled from the demolition of this old world’s structures, THEN it is that the Promised blessings to mankind will be brought about by that Royal Priesthood. So, as long as we still live in Satan’s world, it suggests that the Bride-class, though very NEARLY complete, is yet still incomplete. Though it is late in the twilight of the day, the “eleventh hour” (Matthew 20:5, 6) and though very soon the Darkness will be upon us, the daylight hasn’t yet completely vanished, and the master hasn’t yet finished paying all the labourers. (Matthew 20:1-16)


      • just stay sweet and good

        to greg (Bible Student) This is the line of reasoning I’ve been working with: Jehovah picks out the bride for his son, just as in ancient Isreal. Remember Rebecka at the well and her character? Gen 24:19

        The messengers (angeles) of Jehovah can’t rescue any one unless the are obedient. see Ps 34:7 Fear of displeasing Jehovah is shown when were obedient. Then we have holy spirit (notice not in capitalizatioon which would indicate personhood) Abraham was told “I know now, there is nothing that I will ask of you that you won’t do” The wedding garment has to be clean BEFORE the invitation to go to the wedding. Total consecration

        There all sorts of things that are discarded along the narrow road and then we can pick up some speed. As we discard and wash in the blood of the Lamb we become more and more in love with our groom. Fear gives way to love. When we clearly “see” our groom at the end of the road we really pick up more speed. What we “see” at the end of the road and continue to pursue is what we attain by the grace of God. The Father still has the final say. The angeles are always watching us just as they are watching all of our communications on this website. If we need some discipline along the way it is always the blessing from our good Papa.

      • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

        Greg, you expressed how I see the call and the fact that at death only will I know for sure if He chose me to be of the Bride class or not. I do not however entertain the joy of living on the earth but will live wherever God and Jesus decides I should be and the work I should have assigned to me. I just love being free to approach God and accept Jesus without the governing body in between. I do however dream and think in terms of heaven and it is not foreign to me at all. I seldom think of living on earth. I hope we all make it, to be his bride. I never think about the angels having a prominent role anymore but the Holy Spirit as a Helper to understand and guide. Witnesses never put emphasize on Jesus or the Holy Spirit, mostly the angels who have their place now since Christ we have this helper.
        I am taking in the convention today on Adobe connect. My surgery is Monday. My son is coming in tomorrow to be with me and will stay for a week. I should be mobile by then if not I have other help.
        Hopefully all of you got the adobe connect for the convention.
        You can also click on conventions then see other conventions and look on the calendar and click on the convention for this week. Take Care.

        • greg (Bible Student)


          Thank you! I got all the emails and links you sent me, and I got to tune in to the Welcome Address this morning. Hopefully I’ll be able to attend more completely tomorrow. At least that’s my goal and my plan.

          Regarding entertaining a heavenly hope, I’ve spent my younger years learning from JW’s how to be critical of others, how to despise people, how to feel superior, how to hate this world, how to be miserable, and how to make others around me miserable. Yet at the same time I learned how to REALLY love my children, even the one that was most difficult to love sometimes.

          Then, 20-some years ago, something huge shifted and I suddenly realized I didn’t hate people, didn’t have to hate people, didn’t want to hate people, didn’t need to hate the planet. I’ve spent the years since learning how to REALLY love people, how to talk to people, how to enjoy people, how to look for and see the unsquashable good that still exists in the world. I’ve spent my time learning how to work WITH people, how to care about them, how to help them learn how to care about themselves. I’ve spent these years cultivating humility (still got quite a ways to go, I think, somedays), and trying to learn the secret of contentment (still working on that, too). I’ve learned how to neither feel (or think of myself as) superior, nor inferior, but how to meet people as equals. Not that we necessarily are always equal, but how to be genuinely human with other humans.

          So currently, I can’t really imagine life in heaven because I’ve spent so much of life learning to want to work here, with people, as a human. Perhaps I could learn to want to work from the spiritual realm, but I’m also quite content with my lot in life as a human being.

          Still, like you say, I want to do and serve in whatever way God sees to assign me, where-ever that is.

          I’m fairly confident that we’ll all be eagerly awaiting news about how you’re faring after your surgery. But please, think of us ONLY AFTER you’ve taken good care of yourself, OK? 🙂

          You’ll be in my heart, mind, and prayers,

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