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My Story – Part 1

For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

This is in answer to Br. Wow, and others that  have asked why I left the organization of J….Witnesses after over 60 yrs. I begin with this info first. It was written and composed by someone else, but expresses my thoughts, then I will add my personal experience. Others may have taken a different Path, or just sat it out, I couldn’t. I have not encouraged anyone to leave the witnesses, for many elders are doing a fine job. I couldn’t have made it without my elders support. But they needed a break too. Many can sit there and ignore the constant call to herald the governing body and wait, some can’t, if they have been targeted by the society. They won’t let you live in peace as you will see from parts of my story. Many say I am not telling all, but it isn’t necessary to go into detail on the pedophilia issue,it’s painful. I am only answering a question asked of me many times. I have been called by Christ and feel deeply it would be wrong for me to substitute the governing body, for him, as my Leader and Saviour. I had no identity of my own, I was born into this religion basically but had early contact for my first twelve years with the Bible Students. I think that is why I was able to escape and build an identity of my own. I began to think for myself.

I agree that it is wrong to speak or rebel against those who take the lead in caring for and feeding God’s sheep. (1 Tim. 5:17) Jude, for example, speaks of “ungodly men” who have slipped in among God’s people and are “speaking abusively of glorious ones,” wicked men who “have perished in the rebellious talk of Korah.” (Jude 4, 8, 11)  ” I address the rebellion of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, three notorious rebels who opposed Moses and are given as a warning example for us today. (Num. 26:9; 1 Cor. 10:6, 10,11) The Society teaches, and many wholeheartedly agree, that questioning the governing body is equivalent to Korah’s rebellion. Moses was the mediator of the Law covenant that Jehovah made with the nation of Israel at Mt. Sinai, and he was the one chosen by God to lead his people. (Heb. 8:7-13) As you know, the greater Moses is Jesus Christ, the mediator of the new and better covenant. Regarding him the apostle Paul wrote: “Moses as an attendant was faithful in all the house of that One as a testimony of the things that were to be spoken afterwards, but Christ [was faithful] as a Son over the house of that One. We are the house of that One, if we make fast our hold on our freeness of speech and our boasting over the hope firm to the end.” (Heb. 3:1-6; 5:4,5; 8:6; Gal. 3:24)

Who is leading God’s people today? A Watchtower article answered: “As Jehovah’s modern-day servants, we cherish our good relationship with God. We are eager to learn and apply in our lives valuable lessons from past events. (Romans 15:4) When the Israelites walked by sight, they forgot that God through Moses was directing them. If we are not careful, we too can forget that Jehovah God and the Greater Moses, Jesus Christ, are directing the Christian congregation today.” w05 9/15 p. 20 par. 18; Walk by Faith, Not by Sight!

Since Jesus is the greater Moses, for someone to follow in the path of Korah he would have to rebel against Jesus, and not just against any man, or group of men, even if that were the twelve apostles. When Paul confronted the apostle Peter in Antioch with the need to correct him, for Peter “stood condemned,” also influencing others in following his hypocritical course so that “they were not walking straight according to the truth of the good news,” would you say that Paul became guilty of becoming like Korah? (Gal. 2:11-14)

The Scriptures foretold that before the coming of Jehovah’s day (NWT), Jehovah would reveal (or expose) the existence of an element right at the very top inside his own household—his temple—that would reflect the same rebellious attitude as did Korah, wanting to share in the glory of the greater Moses Christ Jesus, and elevating himself above all others of God’s people, even going so far as showing himself to be a god. I have found Jesus and am not rebelling against Him or Jehovah.

I am also aware of the stern counsel in Luke 12:10 Against speaking against the Holy  Spirit. I know that it was not God helping the organization make the decisions it made on the pedophilia issue. So I was not grieving the Spirit. I was aware of  young girls that had been rape victim, they are now adults. I feared the threats made to me by the Circuit and District overseer to disfellowship me if I helped the victim by supplying information that had been destroyed from the congregation records.  I couldn’t go along with the cover-up, I had to leave.

In 2007 our study issue of the watchtower said; “11 What, then, can we deduce from the fact that one of the 24 elders identifies the great crowd to John? It seems that resurrected ones of the 24-elders group may be involved in the communicating of divine truths today. Why is that important? Because the correct identity of the great crowd was revealed to God’s anointed servants on earth in 1935. If one of the 24 elders was used to convey that important truth, he would have had to be resurrected to heaven by 1935 at the latest. That would indicate that the first resurrection began sometime between 1914 and 1935. Can we be more precise?” ISam. 12: shows that is wrong to get in touch with the dead even if you believe they are anointed as Samuel was. Those are demons responding. If they had said Jesus or the helper, Holy Spirit, this would have been in line with scripture. Jesus and Holy Spirit is always taken out of the equation it seems to me, it’s troubling to me, maybe not to others.

At the end of one of the conventions the brother said “this convention was brought to you by the governing body”, not the Bible Jesus or God. Another convention at the end the brother said,” the governing body wants you to know they love you.” Jim Jones said things like that as he became those people deliverer, I and many others were shocked. Recently and increasingly, the governing body says, you cannot get to Jehovah unless you accept the governing body. There was one convention completely almost about Jesus, because persons had said witnesses didn’t consider Jesus. At the end, the convention talks went back to  extolling the governing body.

The governing body said in the November KM 2009, that private research was not encouraged by the governing body. They said gathering as two or three to discuss the bible was not encouraged, that the society has compiled all you need to know.  The NGO affiliation with the United Nations. If we went to the YWCA to swim we would be subject to discipline.

I went to Bethel quite a bit as I had a service they could use down thru the years. I was invited privately. I saw too much at Bethel!  Alcohol flowed freely in the rooms.  I know of at least one Elder that had allegedly  molested his daughter but was elder again  in six months time. His daughter clothes, eyes, make-up, got darker and darker, she dressed in black with a long black coat. One brother told me he was silenced because he refused to sanction this elders re-appointment. He was aware of my struggles dealing with peodophile victims.  It is things like this that deeply bothered me. I was exposed to to much.  Elders are appointed men.

In an Effort to get rid of me they sent what I later learned was an apostasy inquiry. My elders stated they had tried not to come to me but was being forced to come by the Society. They stated before hand they did not agree with the society and wanted me to know how the body felt. But they must ask me these questions and read me a letter and article. I listened, I tried to answer truthfully, but quickly saw from the expression on one of the brother’s face that I was getting in trouble. I followed his coaching and answered when I saw his head nodding in agreement with what I was saying. I changed when I saw alarm on his face. I had just gone to court and got a restraining order against an elder, the congregation he was in, and by extension the society,because their letter stated they had sent him. They were angry because I won, by the brother confessing, to the judge in open court. They had introduced a lie, in the form of a letter to the court,  before they knew the brother was going to confess. It shot across the city and region.   I read Raymond Franz’s books and they confirmed what I already suspected. Circuit overseers have lived in my home. I saw too much! I heard too much! I was battling every time I walked in the kingdom hall, one elder and numerous Circuit Overseers would come right up to me to start a fight, so to speak. I would not be bothering them, I just wanted peace. Something was up, I couldn’t figure out what it was that made them try to provoke me, I was a nobody.

THEN IT HAPPENED!  THE NBC INTERVIEW AIRED WITH BARBARA ANDERSON AND BROTHER BOWEN.  NOW I KNEW WHY I WAS A TARGET. They viewed me as a threat, lawsuits were being filed. I knew too much! I prayed on my hands and knees,with tears often, asking Jehovah to get me out of here to a smaller place. This was a corporation not a religion anymore, assets were at stake. I felt just leaving, would be better than sitting in a seat every week listening to the governing body say “god has held us high for all to admire”. The worship of the governing body turned my stomach,I knew about the pedophilia and their attitude toward the victims. They were merciless.  One twelve year old was read on reproof, from the stage, they say she tempted the brother, from as early as 5 yrs old. Book study was in that home. I saw too much.

It was as if scales fell from my eyes when I finally made a clean break. I am happier than I have been in a Decade. I feel holy spirit now. I have come to know Jesus again like I had before the governing body began to reign, particularly pre- 1990. It was as if Jesus called me out. I feel clean now. I have always known of the Scriptures of LUKE 12 that talks about SLAVES. Especially verses 41-48. I knew there were others that were also caring for God’s flock. I knew them from my past when all of us met at the Masonic Temple. I was told they were dead however. I often asked CO & Do about them. But with the Internet I was able to find other anointed that were caring for the flock of God. I have seen the real fury of the Watchtower Society.  I am not mentioning everything but I could never trust the present day governing body of the witnesses. I always dealt with Bethel not the local congregation, the brothers and sisters are fine, just trying to worship God and declare the “Good News.” I have no animosity against my local elders or congregation, most of those dear brothers protected me. It was better that I leave.

One part of my story is on sixscreens of the watchtower. That story continues even now as late as the summer of 2010. My family was scared by this man presence, I changed plans at the last minute.  The brother is still an elder in good standing. I have paperwork to support my claims on the sixscreens posting. Although I was reluctant to tell that story it was cleansing for me. I have moved forward since that time. I and some other elders kept everything public (before the congregation), so brothers in my area knew the facts, non of the brothers and sisters have shunned me. I don’t push myself on them however, they work my territory often. I am so happy for my freedom to discuss the bible and not have to agree and hear only nine men thoughts. I wanted freedom from tyranny and fear. Luke 12:4 says “Moreover I say to you, my friends, Do not fear those who kill the body and after this are not able to do anything more. But I will indicate to you whom to fear: Fear him who after killing has authority to throw into Gehenna. Yes, I tell you, fear this one.(NWT)  I have been called by Christ and am free now.   I enjoy my FREEDOM IN CHRIST.
This is a link to help you understand Mind Control: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sce8gBJKQq4
This is a link from the files of Barbara Anderson that might be enlightening on child pedophilia in the org. http://www.watchtowerdocuments.com/documents/Child_Abuse_in_Canada.pdf
For more “Ask Jacqueline” articles, click here:

290 comments to My Story – Part 1


    hello sister, looks will not deny that I learned a lot about the scriptures through the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I did not know God had a name, although we were confused about the pronunciation of the Tetragrammaton, I believe this is the name of God, by my logic The problem of the witnesses today is in fact the organization’s leaders want to lead the people just as the prophets did in the past have to do so and so and so I do not disagree, but of God’s leaders as they infiltrate these dogmas teachings types things that Jehovah never asked in the hall where he attended the leaders along with their wives over a meeting of neighbors dies, and you are not part of this bond, is thus also in their cities? hugs Eddie.


    Greetings sister, I was surprised to learn that her sister has aged 60 years (???) actually decided to leave the organization, here in Brazil, there are remote information from the old continent, they do not come here in full, you know? ? in fact I am so surprised that a person with many years of dedication to leave the organization as well as many of my friends when we were amazed we had information that Raymond Franz had left the information.

    indeed sister, here in Brazil are immense fields and fruit, the harvest is plentiful and abundant, however, that those who will say one day have access to such information as I had? sister knows, one day I found myself asking myself, my God, where shall I go if one day all this comes to light? ‘ve been riding my whole life to this desert which the Israelites to leave Egypt? what will become of us?! greetings to the brothers and sister and friends of the Lord!

    • Jacqueline

      Greetings Eddie. Nice to hear from you again. When a person leaves an organization, it allows them to focus on Jesus and getting the mind of Jehovah on scripture. I actually feel like a friend now of God instead of a member of a giant corporation with its many laws and by laws. Enjoy the good spiritual food and share it with your other brothers in Brazil. Thank you.


    saudações irmã, eu fiquei surpreso em saber que a irmã já com 60 anos na verdade (???) resolveu deixar a organização, aqui no Brasil, são remotas as informações ai do velho continente, elas não nos chegam aqui na íntegra, entende?? de fato estou tão surpreso de uma pessoa com tantos anos de dedicação sair da organização assim como muitos amigos meus ficamos estupefatos quando tivemos informações que Raymond Franz havia deixado a informação.

    de fato irmã, aqui no Brazil os campos são imensos e frutíferos, a colheita é farta e abundante, porém, que vou dizer aqueles que um dia tiverem acesso a essa informação assim como eu tive?? sabe irmã, um dia, eu me peguei perguntando a mim mesmo, meu Deus, para onde irei se um dia tudo isso vier a tona?? a vida inteira estivemos andando a ermo tal qual os israelitas ao deixarem o egito?? o que será de nós?!! saudações a irmã e aos irmãos e amigos de Jeová!!


    I would only ask one thing: why only members of the governing body says that only they can talk to Jehovah? at least here where I live [Brazil] is what we are told, is this true?

    • Jacqueline

      Hello Eddie, Nice to have you here. Ah, Brazil!! a beautiful country! Eddie yes that is what the GB says here and in the July issue of study watchtower there is more info. I don’t know where they get this doctrine from . Ps. 145:18; 1Peter 3:12 are just a few scriptures that shows God’ listen to prayers from men not just GB.John 14:6,14 only requirement is that it must be in the name of Jesus. Not you have to be GB. Perhaps some of the other commenters know why this is said. Are you enjoying the info on the site. The Bible Student Elders try to keep it informative for the JW brothers as well as others. Take Care my Brother in Christ. Jacqueline

  • wow

    Thank you so much for your insight. talking to someone not so close to the friends out here is a big help to me thank you soooo much.

    • Jacqueline

      WOW, Also come on the webcast tonite. See info to the right.
      There is also a new item in the new “FLOCK BOOK” called “brazen conduct”. It is left to the decretion of the elders as to whether or not your conduct is sufficient enough to be termed Brazen. You can be DF on that charge, so watch your mouth. That is the secret book that only the elders have. You should have freedom to express your feelings but that might be why your PO is trying to provoke you. An ex-elder just made me aware of that. He said he was reading your comments and want to make you aware. Take care all of us will be on the webcast tonight. We get to type questions and thoughts, the brothers see what we are typing and will answer our questions. It is fun and so helpful. In Christ.

  • wow

    and with the PO in my hall he is very young compared to the others. there ar 6 elders 3 older exprianced they are 60+ yrs old, the 3 younger are 40- 2 of them are fine with my circumstances, of being young baptized and many health issues, as well as the older ones but the other {PO let’s call say bob} is not. He seem like he is waiting for me to do something bad i don’t know what but i’v already been drunk and I smoke here and there, the other elders look at my family backround and go esay with me, { my suicide attemt, so as well depression, migrains, parinoia,hallucinations, and anxity of crowds} they only know about the depression, suicide attempt and migrains, the 5 work with me on that. “Bob” doesn’t i don’t know if its my paronia or he is just a jerk, or wahtt. Everybody else seems to love him but me and a few other sisters, I think he knows I don’t like him, but he never says hello to me even when i am standing in a group he never speaks to me. I’m in cali but My grandmother is from the bible belt, my mother raised in L.A. so was “Bob”. I think He thinks I can do the things other youths can but I can’t he has been the elder who has always said no to me pioneering, i know this because all the other came up to me and said if it was up to me you would be pioneering all exept him. What to do? there is more but this is it for now.

    • Jacqueline

      If you want to talk about the truth, you don’t have to be a pioneer. I do more actual talk now than before. No one ever opened the door in our territory. We had enough “do not work addresses” to fill a KH. I really spread the word now, and I don’t have to keep track and turn it in, nor have someone calling me to see how many hrs. I talked about the Father. I am loving this. You take care of yourself, do some down home praying, you know the type I mean. God hears as long as you recognize that his son is the way to him. Peace, Take Care my sister. bye-bye.

  • wow

    That is great, I always thought the bible students changed their name to JWs. But, what can I do about the PO in my hall?

    • Jacqueline

      Wow, No, Bible Students did not change their name to JW. Rutherford changed the name of the 25% that remained with him to JW to distinquish them from the 75% that remained Bible Students. The BS do not have a headdquarters, they have various printing facilities that work together, but each congregation is autonomous. They know their elders personally not appointment from afar. You can’t get your friends appointed because the congregation votes and they know the men. Try to stay out of his way. Preach, teach and don’t worry about the title. Turn in your time as a publisher and let Jesus see it. my 2cents. bye-bye

  • wow

    All I can say is wow you have been through all lot with the brothers and sisters. But something you must remember that jehovah will rectify any wrongs with his society whether it is the local elders ar the governing body. And things have changed al lot since you have left. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but if you feel that your local elders arn’t doing what jehovah’s says go to a different congregation maybe in a diffrent state where no one knows you and ask the elders there some of your questions and see if they are the same as your elders gave you. Oh, I didn’t dee that in the KM 2009, on pg 2 para 5 ” Lrt us cultivate zeal through personal Bible study and fervent prayer to Jehovah, the one who can supply us with dynamic holy spirit.” But if I missed what you pointed please let me know because I want to know it. I have had problems with only one elder but he is the P.O. so 5 years of wanting to pioneer and no this last time I asked the new elder inn my hall hh gave me a slip and now I wait. Oh and something else I’m a woman. no offense taken at all.

    • Jacqueline

      Hi wow,
      Thanks for your suggestions, they are good. I was put in a congregation where the elders stated: Anyone coming here for protection do not have to fear, you will not be harrassed here”.
      So, let me say, I don’t have anything against those elders! They were powerless against a CO or a letter directly from the society. I was dealing with the society with my correspondence. It is a little more complex than is indicated. My prayer was answered, I am with Christ Brothers, my spiritual health is just fine now. I had my family behind me, and even my PO said, “why don’t you just leave”. I write my story because I am asked so much about why I left. I’m doing fine now. I try not to get involved with anymore pedophile cases. I send all, even from other religions, to silentlambs.org. My card would have a red flag on it. I am happy as a Bible Student. I was actually raised one until 12yrs old and baptized it seems now with their baptism questions. Where I am from (deep,deep South) we didn’t actually go over strictly to JW until after Martin Luther King. We were still voting in our elders. My grandfather was from 1905 with the Bible Students. I just didn’t know where they went. My Mom and Dad went with the New KH that was built, in the 60’s. After that most of the brothers from the Bible Students were dying out and we came fully under the JW from Rutherford. We were slow, where I am from. I remember all the fuss, when the society appointed a very young brother, over all the old heads, as the Company Servant. There was chaos that evening. My mom was put over the bookroom, because not many of our brothers could read above a 3rd-6th grade level.
      Oh, and I know about sickle cell! I wish the best for your family, we have the trait really thick in our family. Some chose to not have children as a result. BTW, my family are still JW, but are glad I am not going to a KH because my order of protection, only protects me in one hall. If I left I would have to go back to court. I’m through with all that. Jesus and Jehovah will rectify things, it not for me to try and change anything. I am happy where I am, Jesus has brought me peace, and as one very elderly sister told me recently: sit down, thank the Lord, and enjoy the convention program. I listened to her. Peace my sister and thanks, Jacqueline

  • Paula

    Your paraphrase doesn’t reflect accurately what the brothers are saying. The anointed pictured by the 24 elders are not dead, they have been brought back to life, so it isn’t communication with the dead.


    • Jacqueline

      Paula, Is there scripture proof that the understanding of scripture would be transmitted by the 24 elders? If so, where? Which risen ones delivered this message through one of the 24 elders. Do your accept the counsel not to communicate with those saying they represent dead servants of God? Wouldn’t you agree anyone saying they represent a dead one and they have a message, is a medium.1Sam 28 chapter lets you know it is the devil. Brigham Young of the Mormons makes pretty much the same claim, with no scriptural proof. Jesus said. John 14:25-29 Jesus says the helper, Holy Spirit would will teach you and bring back to mind, nor somone representing those that have died. Also the marriage has not taken place, so where in scripture does it say the resurrected ones are already ruling, teaching without the other members. Paul said 1cor. 4:8 in part” You have begun ruling as Kings without us, have you? I wish indeed that you had begun ruling as kings, that we also might rule with you as kings. col.1:18 puts Jesus as head of the congregation, which Br. Rutherford was also a part, therefore subject to be taught by him. If it had been said Jesus or HolySpirit revealed this it would be in accord with the Bible. I know many have died of the Holy Ones. I personnally would not attempt to get special knowledge from representatives of the dead. For me it would be a dangerous thing. The society used to teach the resurrection began earlier around1918. If I am wrong about that I am sure someone will give me the year. Each one can choose to interprete what is said in the watchtower, it is not law, just a guide or aid to bible study. If I missed the scriptures that support it Paula, I will rephrase or stand corrected. Also I put the quote in my story so the reader can make their own decision on what is said. Thank you, Jacqueline

  • What are you talking about when you say: In 2007 our study issue of the watchtower said, “ maybe we are getting information from the anointed that have died already”. ISam. 12 shows that is wrong to get in touch with the dead even if you believe they are anointed as Samuel was. Those are demons responding.” ???

    You seem to be paraphrasing this quote from the 1/1/07 wt:

    “11 What, then, can we deduce from the fact that one of the 24 elders identifies the great crowd to John? It seems that resurrected ones of the 24-elders group may be involved in the communicating of divine truths today. Why is that important? Because the correct identity of the great crowd was revealed to God’s anointed servants on earth in 1935. If one of the 24 elders was used to convey that important truth, he would have had to be resurrected to heaven by 1935 at the latest. That would indicate that the first resurrection began sometime between 1914 and 1935. Can we be more precise?”

    They aren’t dead, they have been resurrected.

    • Jacqueline

      Paula, Thanks for finding that for me. This is my story of why I left. It may not be reason for anyone else. I just touched a few hot points for me. Thanks for your comment.

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