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Moving Forward after Spiritual Abuse

Related imageHarriet Tubman of the Underground Railroad was asked “how many slaves did she help to get free?” Thousands she said, but I could have helped thousands more if only they knew they were slaves.

Like the Pharisees of Jesus day, the watchtower organization has an additional set of laws and rules in addition to the Bible, a book, “Shepherding the Flock”. It has more laws than the Law Covenant and restricts Christian liberty and freedom. It binds you in slavery to an organization and men. 

Mark 7:8-10 (ESV) says “8  You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men.” 9 And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! 10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 11 But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God) — 12 then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, 13 thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

Image result for family separation

Many leaving Toxic religions don’t realize they were being ‘Spiritually Abused’. With the witnesses you normally lose your family and friends suddenly, the trauma can be abusive, even overwhelming. Follow these steps to recover:

Step 1: Allow yourself time to grieve. Death of family and friends has occurred. You may feel numbness, depression, anxiety, anger even question whether there is a GOD. Those are normal responses and are generally short lived.  You must embrace this important process of grieving.

Step 2: Get away from the abusive situation gradually as a fade or quickly, cold turkey. Whatever works for you. It is okay to stop attending the religious services so you don’t hear the abusive voices. Often you won’t heal unless you stop going or stop reading their books, literature and lectures.

Step 3: Remember to love yourself (Mark 12:31; Ephesians 5:29).   It simply means you care enough about your life that God gave you to try and save your spirituality.  Give yourself some space and stretching room. Create a corner where you can just breathe and pray directly to GOD thru Jesus Christ only, no mention of elders or governing body as many do when praying at the kingdom hall.   http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2010/11/26/learning-how-to-pray-from-the-bible/         Get a massage, take walks, look around at the creations of God. Smile, wave at people you pass. Take off the headphones and just open your eyes and ears to take in the sights, sounds and smells of the beauty of Jehovah’s creation and thank him, talk to him. Crying is okay, arms above your head and breathe in deeply. Now exhale.

Step 4: Don’t think you have to throw the baby out with the water. We never want to get stuck in the victim mode but want to progress and become VICTORS!  Explore other religious voices on subjects and yes you can read the Bible by itself and ask God for his Holy Spirit to understand it.  Ask in Jesus name, Christ promised you will get help. Read the book of John listen as Jesus says farewell until he comes again. He didn’t come to judge the world but to save it, so don’t be afraid of Armageddon.     http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2017/09/09/feb-4-conference-call-who-will-survive-armageddon-only-those-in-the-jehovahs-witness-organization-ark/

Step 5: Be patient with yourself. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help to sort out the pieces and put them in their proper places. It could be a counselor or another spiritual person or group that listens. Get involved in things you like to do, that makes you happy, volunteer and enjoy the happiness of giving, it is good for the soul. Smile, laugh, and get tons of good quality sleep without having to get up and knock on doors and disturb others. Give yourself time to recover and make your own decisions. Your sins are forgiven by the shed blood of Christ. Drop them at his feet! http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2013/03/11/how-do-we-manage-guilt/

“Toxic faith has bad results, while real spirituality has good results. Toxic faith condemns; real spirituality releases. Toxic faith is works-based; real spirituality is faith-based. Toxic faith judges; real spirituality is all about grace.”

Matthew 7:1-5 “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”


Ephesians 4:32: (ESV) “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

66 comments to Moving Forward after Spiritual Abuse

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I would like to give a Heads up to the elderly witness women on the site.
    I don’t want to tell the story of sisters that will post later but you should be warned, They are disfellowshipping older sisters (over 70). Because they think the sister has no husband and is alone they can intimidate her and read her name off as disfellowshipped to scare the other women within the organization.

    This is how they are doing it. They show up unannounced with 3 men dressed to the dime in sharp suits. It is in reality a committee meeting (“judicial”) and what you say can and will be used against you to disfellowship you. Many could care less but some aren’t aware of the snake like tactics of deception of wanting to help you. They will ask you to write a letter of disassociation, quoting the 1985 baptism questions where you entered into an agreement to be bond and identified as part of their organization. (an oath so to speak). But realize most of you of that age were baptized when the questions said in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy spirit.
    So if they knock on your door it is up to you if you answer but be advised they are hunting down older women to push their weigh. Some haven’t attended their kingdom halls in a decade. Buyer be warned and aware, tis the season for visits. The sisters hit already will post their story later. Thank you

  • Brett S. (a.k.a. Dundee)

    Sr.Jacqueline…thank you for this article.Very well written! As you know, you my dear sister in Christ & brother Peter helped me fade from a 40 year wandering within JW’s,me being a 3rd generation witness, dealing with such a variety of abusive individuals occupying all different seats within whether publisher or M.S. or Elders or their wives. Most of the Pioneers were the very worst! They ripped apart my mom’s marriage as well as my own. Elders had my son thrown out on the street by his mom(my x)with no conscience as to this child abuse when he was 15.Then having to go to court to fight for custody of my children yet again after 4 years of it already being settled in the divorce.The elders angry that the judge awards me custody so they provide testimony via written to see how they can divide & conquer yet again.Thankfully as i always remembered you both telling me how the Watchtower can cause a person to grieve in so many ways that there are a number that lose faith in God.Well i always maintained my faith in Him.Been learning more these 4 years out about God than i have for the 40years in with other abusive situations that would leave you terrorized, in fear, to see what they can get away with.After i started showing the court discovery, & letting the elders know that this will come to light what they did(even though i won custody again..it cost me thousands to fight in court). The friends shun me in grocery stores, run away literally like a marathon runner at the mall, mock me in front of customers at a hair salon in front of everyone, send me private messages that i will die, leave voicemails that they are going to get the Circuit Overseer to deal with me soon! They then make announcements of markings in different halls to not associate with my mother nor i. My mother by the way collapsed after their last attack of trying to get her grandchildren taken away from her& her health has never been the same since…The elders as of last summer even sent more spies to our home to stalk outside. This religion is not the religion of my youth. Serving as an elder before i stepped down seeing 1sthand how the elders treated the “friends”, made my eyes wet. Reading the Secret Shepherd the Flock of God book my stomach turned! I could not believe how many man made laws are in their & the various degree’s of punishment that the person must undergo.Then the elder meetings when they would laugh in derision of the friends, make fun of married couples sex lives, setting other ppl up they didn’t like, falsely making certain ones apostates, refusing to meet with those making a plea for reinstatement, refusing to allow certain ones to get baptized because one influential elder wasn’t able to manipulate him as he had the power over others. Long story short…when i reached out to you battered & shattered, you helped keep me safe from them. You gave me the heads up of what to expect & what to do. A gracious thank you to you both!

    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

      Brett hello!! Nice to hear from you again. I am your facebook friend and although I don’t hit like or say spomething, I have followed you on your journey and you seem to have done okay. So glad your mom made over the one hurdle but sad to here she was hurt physically over the thought of losing her grandchildren.
      Wow, you won your children, hurray for a great DAD.
      We try on this site to get the word out on how the governing body behaves you you are not caught off guard by their tactics of peoplke sitting in front of your house like spys trying to intimidate you etc.
      They have no power. They only have the power you give them and that should be none, ignore them. Silence is the best medicine when dealing with someone wanting to do you harm and get away from their words thoughts and deeds to protect yourself. They aren’t worth the anxiety.
      No, this is not your grandma’s religion, this is a giant real estate corporation that has fleeced unsuspecting people into building and buying real estate, putting it in their name claiming they are the faithful slave and God gave them authority. What a scheme! It has worked. They have been compensated for any good work that they have done by retiring at Warwick billionaires. But you made it out of there with your children.
      Thank God for that. It was and always will be a pleasure my brother. Take care of yourself, mother, children and above all keep worshipping our God Jehovah and His son our redeemer Christ. Peace.

    • greg (Bible Student)

      Hello Brett,

      It sounds to me as though you are discovering the art of staying a little more buoyant with each passing storm. I know that future challenges will continue to crop up, and painful reminders will continue to hurt. Still, I seem to sense a little bit of optimism and confidence in your words that might not have been so strong before. And if nothing else, I hope you are discovering what great care and support God and Christ can supply to all those that earnestly struggle to not adopt the spirit of Satan.


      • Brett S. (a.k.a. Dundee)

        Yes Greg.I’m developing thicker skin. It once was the worst feeling to be shunned by thought to be once friends, but now i can chuckle & even look them directly in their eyes confidently. One commented to me that “I look happy, but that i’m allowing a beard to form & that isn’t scriptural they said…LOL” All i could respond is that “I AM!” I posted reviews online about specific kingdom halls & gave a real life very brief testimony.Lots of views. One i posted a great review, only because the elder was kind to me when i substituted for a Public Discourse. Though i don’t believe in the teachings anymore of ALL will die, i more favor the Bible verses & Bible Student understanding of the Ransom for All. Thank you for reaching out to me dear friend in Christ.May the Lord continue to bless you, & ALL readers who have & are contemplating their exodus, & any repercussions. I wake up every single day & thank the Lord that I am out! I can actually hear myself “think”…God forbid….that was never allowed. 🙂

  • greg (Bible Student)

    Hamilton (Ontario, Canada) woman hopes to draw attention to Jehovah’s Witness child sex abuse allegations



  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    Jim Jones causes the death of 900 people all at once and other doomsday cults have mass suicides on specific days.
    But count the day to day, month to month, year to year suicide murders of the witnesses and those dying for the governingbody because of the no blood transfusion doctrine:


    I would also like to add that there are dangerous people inside the kingdom hall. One might say and everywhere. But witnesses say their kingdom halls are a spiritual paradise. They say it is the only place where God can be found but we keep seeing witnesses do some of the most horrific crimes in the world, waking up and killing their whole family.

    • Brett S. (a.k.a. Dundee)

      I can honestly say Sister Jacqueline, the kingdom halls were a very dangerous place, the ones i attended personally.
      Pedophiles poisoning my family, but thankfully nothing sexual happened, but the pedophile who poisoned us, who admitted a plot to kill his 3rd wife who coincidentally was found home dead by suicide,who admitted things to me so creepy, later called the Feds on me so that i can get off his trail. Horrifying experience! Thankfully one springboard of hundreds more evil we experienced from our once thought to be family of Jehovah’s Witnesses.Now my dad shuns me & his grandkids, this after he ran away with another members wife, abandoned my mom, & i fought for him to be reinstated.Little did i know that by bringing him back into the fold that he would shun me for not even doing anything nearly as bad as him. The witnesses turned my wife, now x, into an unrecognizable evil.

  • greg (Bible Student)

    The Amsterdam TV program was an incredibly powerful segment, just a little over 10 minutes in length. It was shown on RTL Late Night.

    I’d say it’s definitely worth a watch because…

    …in just 10 minutes they delved far deeper than just the appalling surface problem of sexual abuse and they got right down to the many serious, ongoing, and underlying threats that the Governing Body’s policies will continue to make possible in the Jehovah’s Witness organization unless something significant is done immediately.

    Here’s my recap:

    * The program began with the host saying quite plainly, “Jehovah’s Witnesses are far from holy.”

    * In only a couple of months since the “Reclaimed Voices” foundation came into formal existence, 220 victims have reported their stories.

    * There is a general concern expressed for the safety of all the children of Jehovah’s Witnesses because Jehovah’s Witnesses typically do not view nor treat sexual abuse and rape as a crime, but only as a sin. It was expressed that there needs to be greater accountability for those who are involved in the cover-up of crimes. Those who fail to report crimes are acting irresponsibly and are putting countless others at risk.

    * There is anger towards the Jehovah’s Witnesses organization because they are consciously willing to take the law into their own hands by preferring to make up their own private laws and rules, and because they have more regard for their own internal laws and rules than they have for the Law of the Land.

    * The word “Insanity!” was used to aptly describe the continued adherence to the Jehovah’s Witness policy of requiring at least 2 witnesses before any action is taken. It was mentioned that while a Public Prosecutor will look for and consider ANY kind of evidence as admissible proof, Jehovah’s Witnesses only consider TESTIMONY as valid proof. This “insanity” angers, frightens and disgusts many people.

    * The point was made that the rules and policies of Jehovah’s Witnesses are designed to maintain secrecy and to uphold (as the thing of the utmost importance) merely the outward appearance of purity and righteousness of the organization.

    * The Jehovah’s Witness organization was criticized for being unwilling to change neither their policies or procedures nor their “culture” of covering things up, and this is seen as a significant threat to the public order of the entire country. It is hoped and expected that there will quickly follow court rulings that forbid these kinds of religious communities.

    * There were clips shown of the Australian Royal Commission’s investigation into Sexual Abuse within the Jehovah’s Witness organization. These clips were met with shock, near-disbelief, and disgust.

    * The point was made that there is a great difference between “Official” policy, and actual practice. While Jehovah’s Witnesses do not “officially” forbid a victim from making a police report, in practice they are almost 100% effectively discouraged from ever daring to report the matter to police because they are made to doubt themselves and reality. Victims are heavily influenced by skillful verbal misdirection that implies they (the VICTIMS) will be the ones at fault for damaging the reputation of the Jehovah’s Witness organization.

    * An invitation was extended to the Jehovah’s Witness community to appear on the program and to respond to the topic at hand, but they refused to appear, respond, react or comment.

    * A final appeal made was for the Jehovah’s Witness community to act responsibly, voluntarily, and to demonstrate a willingness to put an end to the covering up that’s been going on for decades.


  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I have not looked at this yet but Barbara Anderson sent it to me; Amsterdam TV mentioned Jehovah witnesses she says.

    This is a horrible twist and very sad. http://detroit.cbslocal.com/category/news/
    A mother, a Jehovah witness has killed her husband 47 and her 24 and 27 year old children then herself. Normally it is the father or a child not the mother. Quite a few of the family murder suicides
    have a witness connection and because witnesses believe that if they die before armageddon they have paid for their sins and they come back in the resurrection. They don’y get it, we are raised because Jesus died. We can’t ransom our self with our death! This doctrine has caused a lot of murder suicides.

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