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Moving Forward after Spiritual Abuse

Related imageHarriet Tubman of the Underground Railroad was asked “how many slaves did she help to get free?” Thousands she said, but I could have helped thousands more if only they knew they were slaves.

Like the Pharisees of Jesus day, the watchtower organization has an additional set of laws and rules in addition to the Bible, a book, “Shepherding the Flock”. It has more laws than the Law Covenant and restricts Christian liberty and freedom. It binds you in slavery to an organization and men. 

Mark 7:8-10 (ESV) says “8  You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men.” 9 And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! 10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 11 But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God) — 12 then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, 13 thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

Image result for family separation

Many leaving Toxic religions don’t realize they were being ‘Spiritually Abused’. With the witnesses you normally lose your family and friends suddenly, the trauma can be abusive, even overwhelming. Follow these steps to recover:

Step 1: Allow yourself time to grieve. Death of family and friends has occurred. You may feel numbness, depression, anxiety, anger even question whether there is a GOD. Those are normal responses and are generally short lived.  You must embrace this important process of grieving.

Step 2: Get away from the abusive situation gradually as a fade or quickly, cold turkey. Whatever works for you. It is okay to stop attending the religious services so you don’t hear the abusive voices. Often you won’t heal unless you stop going or stop reading their books, literature and lectures.

Step 3: Remember to love yourself (Mark 12:31; Ephesians 5:29).   It simply means you care enough about your life that God gave you to try and save your spirituality.  Give yourself some space and stretching room. Create a corner where you can just breathe and pray directly to GOD thru Jesus Christ only, no mention of elders or governing body as many do when praying at the kingdom hall.   http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2010/11/26/learning-how-to-pray-from-the-bible/         Get a massage, take walks, look around at the creations of God. Smile, wave at people you pass. Take off the headphones and just open your eyes and ears to take in the sights, sounds and smells of the beauty of Jehovah’s creation and thank him, talk to him. Crying is okay, arms above your head and breathe in deeply. Now exhale.

Step 4: Don’t think you have to throw the baby out with the water. We never want to get stuck in the victim mode but want to progress and become VICTORS!  Explore other religious voices on subjects and yes you can read the Bible by itself and ask God for his Holy Spirit to understand it.  Ask in Jesus name, Christ promised you will get help. Read the book of John listen as Jesus says farewell until he comes again. He didn’t come to judge the world but to save it, so don’t be afraid of Armageddon.     http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2017/09/09/feb-4-conference-call-who-will-survive-armageddon-only-those-in-the-jehovahs-witness-organization-ark/

Step 5: Be patient with yourself. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help to sort out the pieces and put them in their proper places. It could be a counselor or another spiritual person or group that listens. Get involved in things you like to do, that makes you happy, volunteer and enjoy the happiness of giving, it is good for the soul. Smile, laugh, and get tons of good quality sleep without having to get up and knock on doors and disturb others. Give yourself time to recover and make your own decisions. Your sins are forgiven by the shed blood of Christ. Drop them at his feet! http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2013/03/11/how-do-we-manage-guilt/

“Toxic faith has bad results, while real spirituality has good results. Toxic faith condemns; real spirituality releases. Toxic faith is works-based; real spirituality is faith-based. Toxic faith judges; real spirituality is all about grace.”

Matthew 7:1-5 “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”


Ephesians 4:32: (ESV) “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

96 comments to Moving Forward after Spiritual Abuse

  • This is an excellent site for us to see actual elders talking about the systems they supported. This is one of the latest but hit the playlist and see much more. We are all on the same page doing the same thing helping humans to survive the atrocities of the Jehovah witness organization. Destroyers of families.





    • greg (Bible Student)


      Your’s is a very intriguing question. I’d love to know more about where your question comes from. I can hear your question several different ways so, if you’re willing, could you elaborate so I can clearly see YOUR picture rather than picking one of my own pictures to comment on?

      For example:
      * Are you perhaps asking how Jesus would respond to personally experiencing spiritual abuse towards himself?
      * Are you maybe asking how Jesus would respond to other persons who he saw being abused?
      * Or are you maybe asking how Jesus would respond to seeing an article like this in print?
      * Or is there something else you’re seeing and wondering about?

      Warmly and Sincerely curious,

    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

      Bad News Bears, After Spiritual Abuse I will do as Jesus did. Enjoy the earth that God has made, not slavishly going from door to door selling misrepresentations of God’s divine plan or inviting people to a manmade and run organization.
      Proverbs 8:31 Young’s Literal Translation “Rejoicing in the habitable part of His earth, And my delights are with the sons of men.”

      I will encourage those I meet to do what Jesus says here:
      John 14:1″Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.
      English Standard Version
      “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.

      I am not a witness so I will not obey any of their customs. I am going to the 70th birthday party for my class of 1966. All of us turn 70 this year. God allowed us to live and I shall celebrate. Days to bring honor to Fathers and Mothers I will encourage free people to rejoice on those days with family.

      So I hope I have answered what I would think Jesus would do, and what I am going to do. I am free from the slavery of following a body of billionaire men from origins and countries unknown.

      1Peter 2:16 “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.” Have a blessed and nice day, Jacqueline

  • Ted R. (Bible Student)


    I was noticing on some other ex-JW websites and Facebook pages that many of these groups are planning protests at tonights celebration of the JW Memorial. Out of respect for the Memorial and what it represents I would ask any who were planning to participate that you please don’t. While I recognize and agree with your hurt and pain and have experienced this myself, the Memorial, regardless of who is celebrating, should be a time of solemn reflection, not a platform for protest. We are commemorating the death of our Lord Jesus, who taught us to be kind and merciful, even toward our enemies. From the cross, while suffering excruciating pain, he implored his Father to “forgive them, for they know not what they do”. So for those who are suffering the pain and injustice of this organization, please just show respect for this Memorial occasion and for Christ, by not using this night to vent your hostility. Tonight is not the night for protest, but reflection on the love Christ showed us by opening our eyes to the truth. Protesting at tonights event only feeds the Governing Body’s accusations against “apostates” and show disrespect for Christ and what this occasion means. Christ gave his life as a ransom for all, even Jehovah;s Witness’s. Forgive them, for they know not what they do!

    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

      Ted R, I know how you feel and what you are saying and I agree. I would never disrupt a religion’s service but I am not them. I know some of the deepest hurts some of these people have experienced, rapes total destruction of their families and lives.
      They are not claiming that they are disrupters but feel they must espress themselves to save some more victims. I can’t say one should stand by and let atrocities be committed. They on the other side of the coin feel this will alert some to look into the fact that it says all should drink and eat.
      I don’t think they will be a problem tonight because the witnesses are accustomed to disruptions of their lives with the shunning policies they have to institute so they will just absorb it.
      I would just walk away but that never addresses the problem. Everyone has to work according to their conscience and perhaps even the Spirit of Christ and God may be moving them. I just can’t make a judgement call on peaceful protest. Tonight is more a celebration of the organization being the expression of Jesus kingdom on earth they will ignore the emblems.
      May God’s Spirit be with us all. Shalom

      • Ted R. (Bible Student)

        I would never belittle the terrible treatment some of these have experienced. A solemn occasion commemorating the death of our Lord is not the place demonstrate however. It shows disrespect for Christ and accomplishes nothing but to reinforce in the minds of the attendees that the Governing Body is right in their assessment of apostates. Post videos on YouTube if they need to expose the falsehood. There are plenty of opportunities to demonstrate, just not on the most Holy commemoration of the year. It is bad enough that the JW’s show disrespect by not partaking. I know some will not agree with me, but consider what the Memorial represents, the death of our Lord and the love and mercy he showed. Again, this is directed at those who are planning such demonstrations, to hopefully have them re-think their plans. As a Christian I could never condone a demonstration on this most Holy celebration no matter how much wrong was done to me. Demonstrate tomorrow in front of their Kingdom Halls if you must but don’t disrespect the Memorial of our Lord. Hopefully some of those this is directed to will read this and change their minds.

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    Just in: A reliable source has alledged that the governing body has halted building of an assembly hall in Georgia (USA) and wants the money sent to the society for the worldwide work.
    They are asking for the members to raise 30 million dollars to suppoort the worldwide work. All monies for building projects is to be sent directly to them it is alledged.
    (The person actually said 300 million, but that is huge).
    So if any are still attending the kingdom halls please tell us exactly what the letter requesting donations is saying.
    The southern congregations that raised money for the assembly hall is in turmoil over the cancelation and the diverting of the money it is alledged.

    • Ted R. (Bible Student)

      Thats interesting! Sunday’s Watchtower had one of the strongest appeals for donations I have seen in almost 50 years. Donations are constantly being brought up in the meetings.
      When I first became a JW back in 1970 money and donations were rarely mentioned. That is one of the things that appealed to me. It is also one of the things that helped open my eyes! Over that last several years the appeal for donations has been increasing exponentially. It is becoming obvious that the organization is in trouble. The reduced publishing books, encouraging the JW’s to download the publications when possible and use their tablets or phone in the field service to show videos, only offering literature to those who are truly “righteously disposed”. We have had two Kingdom Halls in our area closed and sold with more to come. They say that this is because of the rapid expansion????? Interesting logic!

      • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

        Ted so it was Sunday that they made this pitch? In Georgia they alledge their assembly hall will not be built and all the money is going to the governing body. And I have some ice to sell to all the eskimos living in Alaska. Theyt have no shame and know they have some gullible people that will stand behind them no matter how ridiculous they get. It would be laughable if not so tragic that some of these women and men on social security are probably going to empty their savings to send to these men who are living in luxury.
        Scam artists are blushing at their blatant conduct. Fleecing the gullible non thinking flock!

        • Ted R. (Bible Student)

          I just found out they are closing two more Kingdom Halls in the area with more to come. That makes four so far. Its amazing…they are having such growth that they are closing Kingdom Halls right and left!!! Jehovah really must be blessing their efforts! 🙂

          • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

            In Birmingham 7 congregations were combined and made 2. This include the spanish congregation having to merge with english congregation. I guess the brothers have to speak english or lose out. They use only one kingdom hall and the others were sold or up for sale on this one side of town. The other side of town have seen closings and combining also. But one person said with all the trouble makers gone it is better. I replied all the critical thinkers are gone and the gullible unable to think persons are left, but they have money and that is the name of this game. When asked what is the problem? I said follow the money. It will lead to extravangance on many levels and huge pedophile payouts every year.
            On the internet many are forming small groups and just studying the bible without books and look up many voices on scriptures and just pray for the helper to teach them. They seem to be getting closer to Jesus and that always lead to getting closer to Jehovah.
            Have you seen the new corrugated kingdom halls popping up in Canada?
            Smaller groups meeting in homes as Raymond Franz suggested and as most of the Bible students ecclias do cuts down on cost.
            I grew up with all meetings being held in my parents home for years. I also had book study in my home for years and it was nice to let the children play afterwards and have popcorn.
            But they did away with home book study because elders were allowing a deep discussion of the scriptures and a lot of conclusions weren’t what the witnesses said. They couldn’t control these small home intimate groups. Hopefully our brothers will carry on with the help of Christ. I predict since the GB said the poreaching work is over and they have completed their work, they will escape with offshore accounts and leave it to the Helpers (I forget what they call them Johnadabs???)

            • Ellis Green

              This is disgusting really! How can people so intelligent be so gullable to swallow what the GB says? If the GB said the Loch Ness Monster was real, Michael Jackson was still alive and working as a MJ impersonator in Las Vagas, and fairies at the bottom of the garden, the rest would believe it!

              Remember Beth-Sarim? They’re not building another one near Wales are they? The WT apparently has new property there and they say its to translate stuff into Welsh. I have a copy of the article but haven’t worked out how to transfer things onto these pages yet! I give anything to have a brain!

              • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

                Ellis. can you copy the links to the articles then paste them here?
                You know they just might be their own enemy. People today dont like parting with 300 milkion dollars without seeing where it is going. They should have kept it small so their people wouldnt notice. I just hope those that give feel it gives them freedom to do as they please, enjoy life and get to know othets outside the religion.
                Donating money by check makes the elders stand back because they know you are giving money. I learned that while trying to raise my boys in that restrictive environment. All the fighting my husband and I did to keep them off our boys backs, makes me wonder why my sons are still there. The elders children were held in such high esteen that others kids were nothing. In real life now most of the elders children had rocky outcomes. Pedophiles and jail for some.
                Hope this request for money makes some run for the hills.

                • Ellis Green

                  I’m still so new to this internet and computer stuff I still haven’t worked out how to paste things! But I have the article on FB and I could transfer a copy to the FRIENDS OF JWS FB page if that’s OK? The article is called DOOM AND LUXURY and I got it from another XJW site after I’d Googled Beth-Sarim or something like that; I was mucking about and found this item almost by accident!

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I would like to give a Heads up to the elderly witness women on the site.
    I don’t want to tell the story of sisters that will post later but you should be warned, They are disfellowshipping older sisters (over 70). Because they think the sister has no husband and is alone they can intimidate her and read her name off as disfellowshipped to scare the other women within the organization.

    This is how they are doing it. They show up unannounced with 3 men dressed to the dime in sharp suits. It is in reality a committee meeting (“judicial”) and what you say can and will be used against you to disfellowship you. Many could care less but some aren’t aware of the snake like tactics of deception of wanting to help you. They will ask you to write a letter of disassociation, quoting the 1985 baptism questions where you entered into an agreement to be bond and identified as part of their organization. (an oath so to speak). But realize most of you of that age were baptized when the questions said in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy spirit.
    So if they knock on your door it is up to you if you answer but be advised they are hunting down older women to push their weigh. Some haven’t attended their kingdom halls in a decade. Buyer be warned and aware, tis the season for visits. The sisters hit already will post their story later. Thank you

  • Brett S. (a.k.a. Dundee)

    Sr.Jacqueline…thank you for this article.Very well written! As you know, you my dear sister in Christ & brother Peter helped me fade from a 40 year wandering within JW’s,me being a 3rd generation witness, dealing with such a variety of abusive individuals occupying all different seats within whether publisher or M.S. or Elders or their wives. Most of the Pioneers were the very worst! They ripped apart my mom’s marriage as well as my own. Elders had my son thrown out on the street by his mom(my x)with no conscience as to this child abuse when he was 15.Then having to go to court to fight for custody of my children yet again after 4 years of it already being settled in the divorce.The elders angry that the judge awards me custody so they provide testimony via written to see how they can divide & conquer yet again.Thankfully as i always remembered you both telling me how the Watchtower can cause a person to grieve in so many ways that there are a number that lose faith in God.Well i always maintained my faith in Him.Been learning more these 4 years out about God than i have for the 40years in with other abusive situations that would leave you terrorized, in fear, to see what they can get away with.After i started showing the court discovery, & letting the elders know that this will come to light what they did(even though i won custody again..it cost me thousands to fight in court). The friends shun me in grocery stores, run away literally like a marathon runner at the mall, mock me in front of customers at a hair salon in front of everyone, send me private messages that i will die, leave voicemails that they are going to get the Circuit Overseer to deal with me soon! They then make announcements of markings in different halls to not associate with my mother nor i. My mother by the way collapsed after their last attack of trying to get her grandchildren taken away from her& her health has never been the same since…The elders as of last summer even sent more spies to our home to stalk outside. This religion is not the religion of my youth. Serving as an elder before i stepped down seeing 1sthand how the elders treated the “friends”, made my eyes wet. Reading the Secret Shepherd the Flock of God book my stomach turned! I could not believe how many man made laws are in their & the various degree’s of punishment that the person must undergo.Then the elder meetings when they would laugh in derision of the friends, make fun of married couples sex lives, setting other ppl up they didn’t like, falsely making certain ones apostates, refusing to meet with those making a plea for reinstatement, refusing to allow certain ones to get baptized because one influential elder wasn’t able to manipulate him as he had the power over others. Long story short…when i reached out to you battered & shattered, you helped keep me safe from them. You gave me the heads up of what to expect & what to do. A gracious thank you to you both!

    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

      Brett hello!! Nice to hear from you again. I am your facebook friend and although I don’t hit like or say spomething, I have followed you on your journey and you seem to have done okay. So glad your mom made over the one hurdle but sad to here she was hurt physically over the thought of losing her grandchildren.
      Wow, you won your children, hurray for a great DAD.
      We try on this site to get the word out on how the governing body behaves you you are not caught off guard by their tactics of peoplke sitting in front of your house like spys trying to intimidate you etc.
      They have no power. They only have the power you give them and that should be none, ignore them. Silence is the best medicine when dealing with someone wanting to do you harm and get away from their words thoughts and deeds to protect yourself. They aren’t worth the anxiety.
      No, this is not your grandma’s religion, this is a giant real estate corporation that has fleeced unsuspecting people into building and buying real estate, putting it in their name claiming they are the faithful slave and God gave them authority. What a scheme! It has worked. They have been compensated for any good work that they have done by retiring at Warwick billionaires. But you made it out of there with your children.
      Thank God for that. It was and always will be a pleasure my brother. Take care of yourself, mother, children and above all keep worshipping our God Jehovah and His son our redeemer Christ. Peace.

    • greg (Bible Student)

      Hello Brett,

      It sounds to me as though you are discovering the art of staying a little more buoyant with each passing storm. I know that future challenges will continue to crop up, and painful reminders will continue to hurt. Still, I seem to sense a little bit of optimism and confidence in your words that might not have been so strong before. And if nothing else, I hope you are discovering what great care and support God and Christ can supply to all those that earnestly struggle to not adopt the spirit of Satan.


      • Brett S. (a.k.a. Dundee)

        Yes Greg.I’m developing thicker skin. It once was the worst feeling to be shunned by thought to be once friends, but now i can chuckle & even look them directly in their eyes confidently. One commented to me that “I look happy, but that i’m allowing a beard to form & that isn’t scriptural they said…LOL” All i could respond is that “I AM!” I posted reviews online about specific kingdom halls & gave a real life very brief testimony.Lots of views. One i posted a great review, only because the elder was kind to me when i substituted for a Public Discourse. Though i don’t believe in the teachings anymore of ALL will die, i more favor the Bible verses & Bible Student understanding of the Ransom for All. Thank you for reaching out to me dear friend in Christ.May the Lord continue to bless you, & ALL readers who have & are contemplating their exodus, & any repercussions. I wake up every single day & thank the Lord that I am out! I can actually hear myself “think”…God forbid….that was never allowed. 🙂

  • greg (Bible Student)

    Hamilton (Ontario, Canada) woman hopes to draw attention to Jehovah’s Witness child sex abuse allegations



  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    Jim Jones causes the death of 900 people all at once and other doomsday cults have mass suicides on specific days.
    But count the day to day, month to month, year to year suicide murders of the witnesses and those dying for the governingbody because of the no blood transfusion doctrine:


    I would also like to add that there are dangerous people inside the kingdom hall. One might say and everywhere. But witnesses say their kingdom halls are a spiritual paradise. They say it is the only place where God can be found but we keep seeing witnesses do some of the most horrific crimes in the world, waking up and killing their whole family.

    • Brett S. (a.k.a. Dundee)

      I can honestly say Sister Jacqueline, the kingdom halls were a very dangerous place, the ones i attended personally.
      Pedophiles poisoning my family, but thankfully nothing sexual happened, but the pedophile who poisoned us, who admitted a plot to kill his 3rd wife who coincidentally was found home dead by suicide,who admitted things to me so creepy, later called the Feds on me so that i can get off his trail. Horrifying experience! Thankfully one springboard of hundreds more evil we experienced from our once thought to be family of Jehovah’s Witnesses.Now my dad shuns me & his grandkids, this after he ran away with another members wife, abandoned my mom, & i fought for him to be reinstated.Little did i know that by bringing him back into the fold that he would shun me for not even doing anything nearly as bad as him. The witnesses turned my wife, now x, into an unrecognizable evil.

  • greg (Bible Student)

    The Amsterdam TV program was an incredibly powerful segment, just a little over 10 minutes in length. It was shown on RTL Late Night.

    I’d say it’s definitely worth a watch because…

    …in just 10 minutes they delved far deeper than just the appalling surface problem of sexual abuse and they got right down to the many serious, ongoing, and underlying threats that the Governing Body’s policies will continue to make possible in the Jehovah’s Witness organization unless something significant is done immediately.

    Here’s my recap:

    * The program began with the host saying quite plainly, “Jehovah’s Witnesses are far from holy.”

    * In only a couple of months since the “Reclaimed Voices” foundation came into formal existence, 220 victims have reported their stories.

    * There is a general concern expressed for the safety of all the children of Jehovah’s Witnesses because Jehovah’s Witnesses typically do not view nor treat sexual abuse and rape as a crime, but only as a sin. It was expressed that there needs to be greater accountability for those who are involved in the cover-up of crimes. Those who fail to report crimes are acting irresponsibly and are putting countless others at risk.

    * There is anger towards the Jehovah’s Witnesses organization because they are consciously willing to take the law into their own hands by preferring to make up their own private laws and rules, and because they have more regard for their own internal laws and rules than they have for the Law of the Land.

    * The word “Insanity!” was used to aptly describe the continued adherence to the Jehovah’s Witness policy of requiring at least 2 witnesses before any action is taken. It was mentioned that while a Public Prosecutor will look for and consider ANY kind of evidence as admissible proof, Jehovah’s Witnesses only consider TESTIMONY as valid proof. This “insanity” angers, frightens and disgusts many people.

    * The point was made that the rules and policies of Jehovah’s Witnesses are designed to maintain secrecy and to uphold (as the thing of the utmost importance) merely the outward appearance of purity and righteousness of the organization.

    * The Jehovah’s Witness organization was criticized for being unwilling to change neither their policies or procedures nor their “culture” of covering things up, and this is seen as a significant threat to the public order of the entire country. It is hoped and expected that there will quickly follow court rulings that forbid these kinds of religious communities.

    * There were clips shown of the Australian Royal Commission’s investigation into Sexual Abuse within the Jehovah’s Witness organization. These clips were met with shock, near-disbelief, and disgust.

    * The point was made that there is a great difference between “Official” policy, and actual practice. While Jehovah’s Witnesses do not “officially” forbid a victim from making a police report, in practice they are almost 100% effectively discouraged from ever daring to report the matter to police because they are made to doubt themselves and reality. Victims are heavily influenced by skillful verbal misdirection that implies they (the VICTIMS) will be the ones at fault for damaging the reputation of the Jehovah’s Witness organization.

    * An invitation was extended to the Jehovah’s Witness community to appear on the program and to respond to the topic at hand, but they refused to appear, respond, react or comment.

    * A final appeal made was for the Jehovah’s Witness community to act responsibly, voluntarily, and to demonstrate a willingness to put an end to the covering up that’s been going on for decades.


  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I have not looked at this yet but Barbara Anderson sent it to me; Amsterdam TV mentioned Jehovah witnesses she says.

    This is a horrible twist and very sad. http://detroit.cbslocal.com/category/news/
    A mother, a Jehovah witness has killed her husband 47 and her 24 and 27 year old children then herself. Normally it is the father or a child not the mother. Quite a few of the family murder suicides
    have a witness connection and because witnesses believe that if they die before armageddon they have paid for their sins and they come back in the resurrection. They don’y get it, we are raised because Jesus died. We can’t ransom our self with our death! This doctrine has caused a lot of murder suicides.

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