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More about how to FADE (gradually leave the Watchtower Society) with minimum damage

Ez 34:4,5: “4  The sickened ones YOU have not strengthened, and the ailing one YOU have not healed, and the broken one YOU have not bandaged, and the dispersed one YOU have not brought back, and the lost one YOU have not sought to find, but with harshness YOU have had them in subjection, even with tyranny.
5  And they were gradually scattered because of there being no shepherd, so that they became food for every wild beast of the field, and they continued to be scattered

These are additional thoughts contributed by various ex-witness, witnesses and Faders in various stages.  Links have been provided to get personal stories.


The word “fading” means gradually leaving the Watchtower Society as contrasted to suddenly leaving by either disassociating yourself or being disfellowshipped which is where you are formally pronounced “no longer a Jehovah’s Witnesses” and so kicked out then rigidly shunned often in such extreme fashion that some people prefer death and a few actually do commit suicide.

Since different people have different circumstances, what will work best depends upon your own situation.  This page does not attempt to tell anyone what is best for them, but it does give what are believed to be helpful different thoughts and ideas.  Sometimes best approaches can be totally opposite; for example: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/183916/1/For-Active-JW-Men-Ideas-on-Awakening-Your-JW-Spouse-Long-post



Click this link to read some comments that are helpful:



A Watchtower-appointed Elder (or even a non-Elder person/s doing the Elders’ bidding) will generally ask “Do you think this is Jehovah’s organization?”  The hope is that you will say, no, so that they can have you shunned.  Or you may be asked “do you think Watchtower is right about everything?”  Their goal is for you to say No, also to be able to have you declared a non-JW to be shunned.

You can say something such as “What!!  Why in the world!  Your asking me that is offensive!”  You may also add that the Elder and local Body of Elders is not doing a good job of taking care of the congregation.  Just don’t mention the mother organization and its heads.

The Elder will often then come back to the question saying something like, “Well, I’m just asking if you think this is Jehovah’s organization?  Yes or no?!”

Then you can answer him with something like “And I already told you that you have absolutely no right to question my relationship with Jehovah God Almighty!”  Then you can add some more comments about how he and the other local Elders are doing a bad job of shepherding the flock, without mentioning the Watchtower Society or its GB . Say you don’t want to go into specifics.

As said, Fading is not a Disfellowshipping (rigid shunning) offense.  Saying that you have doubts or thoughts that Elders can misinterpret as “apostasy” to those Elders or other JWs could get you disfellowshipped if they want to go after you.   Given the “favoritism” shown by JWs, if you are an Elder’s relative, for example, they might say “Well, she/he just needs some time to feel better” or “actually she/he is just depressed, and wouldn’t normally say that.”

On the other hand, an Elder might reason that by giving their own relative the boot, such “zeal” might enhance their standing within the Watchtower organization, so be even more inclined to go after you.

Often Elders do all they can to not let you “just quietly stop attending, preaching door-to-door or outright leave.”   Many will say that when Elders say they want to meet with you, it’s best to just avoid them and their questions and eventually they will give up.  That might work, or in some cases, you will be hounded no matter what and even if you move from one continent to another.

Saying “I just don’t want to go to the meetings any more” can also be grounds for their getting rid of you, announcing “So-And-So is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses” which is automatically followed by your being shunned.

At least so far they cannot announce you are no longer a JW just because you are inactive or turn down their requests for making a shepherding call.   You can say you are depressed, too busy, not feeling well, will contact them when ready, anything to put them off.  Sometimes that’s all it takes.

You can also send a registered letter telling them you will call the police if they persist in harassing and or trespassing.  Often that will be all that it takes for them quit.

Another option is to calmly state that you will sue them if they announce you are no longer a JW.  That can make them to back off on trying to make you attend etc.  Just be sure you mean it.   Find out in advance if they have enough money to make it worth the time and money that it will cost for you to get them into court.

Also, before going into court, have as much documentation as possible such as signed and dated statements from others whom they may have hounded or stalked in the past.  Click a link for even more ideas and comments:





THE FOLLOWING can be combined etc, however works best for your own given situation.  See also elsewhere on this website for some specific ready-made items.

LETTERS WITH SCRIPTURES PLANTING:  You send letters or other items that are in a loving tone yet convey the real truth.  Since JWs respect scriptures you include scriptures that counter the cherry-picked scriptures Watchtower uses for its zanier ideas.  So long as you don’t sign your actual name or give your actual address, they can only guess who sends the material.

KNOCK-OUTS: One such item is that you send or leave about to be found items that show Christ rather than Watchtower is God’s MOST Faithful and Discreet Slave.  This undermines Watchtower’s entire underpinning.  Another knock-out item is a postcard or leaflet that simply has an easy-to-remember single word like the name of a website.  For example if it’s christianwitnesses.com they go to the website and can get tons more of information.

ORAL DRIP FEEDING (BY LUKE): You converse with JW family and/or friends although carefully and selectively about doubts or view points.   This can be effective but also be risky.   Some who act friendly may well turn you in as a possible apostate.

ARE THEY IN A CULT QUESTION: You either speak with or send letters that ask if someone whom the receiving JW/s knows/s such as a neighbor may be in a cult.  In it you describe what a cult is, not just a small fringe group, but sometimes also large groups that harm their own members and others.  As they read over the characteristics of a cult, they automatically compare them to the Watchtower Society.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:  You tell JW friends or family you are always there for them no matter what so that when their own crisis develops they know they have you to go to and rebuild.  This idea can be credited to Jim Whitney.

57 comments to More about how to FADE (gradually leave the Watchtower Society) with minimum damage

  • Just stay sweet and good

    I would like to warn to these brothers who are so worried about their repretation…… that they are falling into the same trap that the WTBS has been in…..protecting THEIR repretation! Our repretations were all ruined when we stood up before God and man and admitted that we were lost sinners at our baptism. That was settled then, period. It was settled at Calvary, period. “The Ransom for ALL” settled our right to a relationship with JHVH, period. What is it about the word “ALL” people don’t get?……..remember Romans 3:10-18 speaks of Total Depravitiy ……thats all of us!

    Paul said it beautifully “Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in insults, in cases of need, in persecutions and difficulties, for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am powerful.” 2 Cor. 12:10

    When you don’t support evil you put a spotlight on it. Ezk. 3:20,21 but know when to quit Lev.19:16,17,18

  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

    I had a visit from the elders on Friday of last week.
    I am pass the stage of fading and have made it quite clear to all that I am not one of Jehovah’s witnesses organization nor subject to it’s governing body or rules.
    So I welcomed the elder by talking thru my window on the porch and we exchanged pleasantries and he asked about all my children and since we were very close as he mentioned at one time, I was non confrontational. I saw other witnesses constantly walking by and a car stop on a few times in my drive but the windows were blackened.
    I should not have let my guard down now it seems.
    This elder had the CO in the car and was trying to see if I voluntarily expressed a desire to come to the KH. I have a restraining order against this hall and it works both ways. It was a set up but I talked about my religion with him in contrast to a few things in his religion to make sure he understood, I haven’t changed.
    A Mole told me the CO was visiting and in the car. They want to trick me to step in the KH so they can say I violated the restraining order and they would call thge police then read my name off from the platform.
    It seems after I have been gone physically seven years they still are upset that I walked away without some sanctions or punishment and many publishers keep bringing this up openly even in field service.
    I think these people are crazy and dangerous.
    I let my guard down and never think about them and speak to them when I see them. The mole says there is great anger toward me and suggest I never let them on my property again. They asked where all of my children were and for their father’s phone number (also a former elder but with the BS, but they don’t know for sure)
    Something is up but I am not under their authority nor in fear of them so I will wait and see if my family is contacted. To do so violates parts of the restraining order and I will have to go back in to court to stop this foolishness.
    Any suggestions? Is it happening to any one else these visits?

    • Lee Anthony

      That seems very odd that they would try and get you to come to the hall knowing about the order. Seems that something is up to me. I recently found out from my wife since she has returned to the meetings recently that I am marked. I had to look that up in the elders book, find the concept interesting. Any ways someone at the hall was told not to ask me to help them with some work because of this and this discouraged her, and her husband (who is not a witness) stopped going to the hall cause of this. Anyways the same people who told her this invite me to go and do outside activities with them from time to time, one of them an elder, (my former group overseer). I believe they are watching me, it was even said that someone had noticed me reading something other than the WT at the hall when i was going, and they have been asking our young son questions. I feel like they try and get you to say or do something that allows them to do their judicial thing or whatever yet it seems they will not just flat out ask they have to be all sneaky. I guess i don’t have much on suggestions but found that interesting and wonder if there has been some secret letter perhaps about talking to those who have left of something… Who knows…

      • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

        You are right, if I violate the order by going to that particular KH, they can call the police on me. I left that hall in 2000 and left the other KH in 2009 and just never went back. No fanfare, nothing. It took them a year to figure out I was gone because I can be on tour for weeks and months. In my small community they have found out about this website because another younger witness is studying with dawn. She gave them this address. Persons have been vocal that something should be done about me. But the order prohibits them from retaliating against me by ruining my reputation with my family or in any way. So you are right they are trying to get me to set foot back in there so they can say she came back and then they can legally DF me. It is a female thing that I won a restraining order against the society without a lawyer and only me and God there. They had elders and a letter from the legal dept.
        I don’t play games however and the next visit will be met with a call to the polkice for them violating the order. Since I know some from my area reads this site hopefully they will tell them what I am saying and they will go back to their leaders and let them know I will fight them if they keep bothering me. They have gone from 2 cong. and over 300 people to 1 cong and lest than 50 people since I left. But I had nothing to do with this. My Mole thinks I should be careful because of the anger. I will just put this in God’s hand. They are sick men.

        • greg (Bible Student)


          Part of me is really upset that this is still going on for you. Another part of me is greatly encouraged to hear about your challenges, and how you strive to overcome them.

          I’m really puzzled, too, because for years I tried to get the local elders to visit me, and on those rare occasions when I could get one to actually come and sit down with me, they quickly packed up and left as though they couldn’t get far enough away fast enough. OH! how I kind of wish that was your experience. -giggle.

          Keeping you in my prayers,
          sincerely, appreciatively, and encouragingly,

          • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

            Greg, I am puzzled also and so are my family and friends. I haven’t attended or been a member of the witnesses for 7 years now.
            This elder is from the congregation where my home is located but I haven’t been a member of that congregation for 17 years. My card isn’t in the United States at all. So what is this man’s problem?
            He had the Circuit overseer in the car I learned later. They sat in front of my house for 15 minutes at least in my driveway. There is a restraining order against any representative of the watchtower society bothering me to cause mental or emotional harm.I don’t bother them. I don’t go to their kingdom halls. I never log on to their website. I never read anything the governing body writes or speak. People will tell me what they are saying but I never go check it out. I have no connection to these people and he didn’t come to preach or invite me to any memorial or meeting. He sort of was thinking up stuff as he went and speaking of old good times he had with my husband who was an elder on that body with him.
            All of that being said, the mole says it is because there is an outcry that noone does anything to me for just walking away and being on this website. They want them to punish me. The average rank and file witness does not understand I have and they do also the right to belong to any religion or not belong to any. They don’t understand that the emperor don’t have on clothes! Their governing body elders or CO does not have any power in this world! They have no authority except what the rank and file allows them to have over them individually.
            The courts told them that in plain english. The judge said I have the power here, you don’t have any, that is why you couldn’t settle this and shouldn’t be down here in court. So I know many in my area are reading this and even the CO lives not very far from here and I have pinged the KH on the site. Perhaps they will cease and desist from coming on my property. I have no need or desire to have any dealings with the witnesses or the governing body or the watchtower bible and tract society of America. Hopefully they will see this tonight.

            • Lee Anthony

              Hello, I emailed you yesterday about something that happened cause I didnt want to post it, but after today I no longer care. To make it short, The elders asked me to sit down so i went ahead and did, turned out it was basically trying to get me to confess to looking at or listening to or “entertaining other stuff outside the WTBTS”. My wife went tonight to talk to them about her (not me) but they kept bringing it back to me. She told them it was not their business, then they said well we can come tomorrow and do a family call… Anyways, thats whats going on, I am sure they just want to get it over with and done.. Not to mention also that my boss (an elder) said he wasnt sure how long i will be working for him. Basically they are trying to get it over with now that they know about my “spirituality”. Any thoughts? Should I just let them know to leave me alone and save time, my job will go one way or another soon anyhow?

              • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

                See link at bottom.
                Lee Anthony, I am so sorry for this disturbance in your life. You work for a witness and this makes it more difficult, your livelihood is affected. Wow I don’t know what to say except pray and talk it over with your wife.
                Lee because of my background I deal with the elders, CO, governing body in a legal manner. This does not work for everyone! I am a no nonsense person, so don’t listen to me.
                Maybe some of the other brothers have some suggestions and can offer comfort.
                I don’t meet with brothers in a so called “judicial meeting” because they are not judges and such does not really exist legally. But you guys have met with them but it is against the law to discriminate on a job because of religion.
                So the only thing I can say is seek legal counsel on this because this is discrimination. Do this only if you personally want to and if you are a fighter. I always say don’t threaten legal action unless you are mentally prepared to do so.
                Lee your job can’t discuss your religion at all. Your job can’t penalize you at all because of your race or religion.
                That is my advise and that is how I proceed. It doesn’t cost much to get in touch with a lawyer and won’t cost a dime if your case has weigh.
                Remember your spirituality and religion or race can not be discussed with your job or employer.
                I will close to see what other brothers have to say. I am just so sorry you are going thru this.
                Mentally I am cured so if I talk with a witness elder, it is as an equal not he an elder and I am a publisher. But I would never meet with them in a committee meeting to others that might consider this. They won’t do anything if you don’t. I was asked many times and I simply said NO, I don’t meet unless I have a lawyer and it is in court. That is me but it might not be you or your wife. But you are being discriminated against because of your religious views, that is against the law. They are violating your Civil Rights. I have been speaking all month at schools on these issues.
                Take Care and I will pray for you and your family. God Bless you. Jacqueline

                Please read all:https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1GGGE_en___US491&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=jehovah+witness+sues+job+for+religious+discrimination&*

                • Lee Anthony

                  Thank you for the advice. I am going to consider all things and pray before I make a decision. My wife and I have decided to not meet with them any longer. I will never return to hall, she is going to take the time and decide her position. Either way, I may just do my best to be loving where they are not and take my leave and trust the Lord to lead me and help me care for my family. I am at the point that I want nothing more to do with them all, even if it is my job to consider. I think the cost of TRUE freedom is worth it, just as Jesus spoke freely against the pharisees of his day it may be time for me to do the same. I am open for suggestions to any who read this.

                  • greg (Bible Student)


                    Since you mentioned Jesus and the Pharisees, I want to share something I found very stimulating to read. Walter Wink wrote the following regarding Jesus and the idea of turning the other cheek:

                    “Why then does he counsel these already humiliated people to turn the other cheek? Because this action robs the oppressor of the power to humiliate. The person who turns the other cheek is saying, in effect, “Try again. Your first blow failed to achieve its intended effect. I deny you the power to humiliate me. I am a human being just like you. Your status does not alter that fact. You cannot demean me.”
                    Such a response would create enormous difficulties for the striker. Purely logistically, how would he hit the other cheek now turned to him? He cannot backhand it with his right hand (one only need try this to see the problem). If he hits with a fist, he makes the other his equal, acknowledging him as a peer. But the point of the back of the hand is to reinforce institutionalized inequality. Even if the superior orders the person flogged for such “cheeky” behavior (this is certainly no way to avoid conflict!), the point has been irrevocably made. He has been given notice that this underling is in fact a human being. In that world of honor and shaming, he has been rendered impotent to instill shame in a subordinate. He has been stripped of his power to dehumanize the other. As Gandhi taught, “The first principle of nonviolent action is that of noncooperation with everything humiliating.” ”

                    For the full article, just search on the internet for “How turning the other cheek defies oppression” by Walter Wink.


                  • greg (Bible Student)

                    Ooops, Correction:

                    The correct article is entitled:
                    Beyond Just War and Pacifism: Jesus’ Nonviolent Way, by Walter Wink


                  • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

                    Lee, How is your morning? I checked my email and found your email. I am so sorry I missed it! I have been in deep discussions on the phone with ones coming out and checked the site often but days without checking my email. It is going to work out okay. Nothing happens without the approval of Jehovah God! You are on a journey, some mountains are going to come up but also some smooth slippery easy slopes. 80% of your battle has been fought and won by your dear wife. You have a blessing right there. (:) If your wife was not in her zone your life could be harder. COUNT THAT BLESSING IF YOU WILL!
                    I think I sent you the info to come on the Sunday meeting with the handouts at the bottom. I will be there and will wave if you come on.
                    Lee I have a habit every night that keeps me in a good mental state. I open the App Christian resources or the computer version and listen to the talks. Right now I put in the search box: CARL HAGENSICK, all of this now deceased Brother articles comes up. You will be amazed at this brothers way of pulling the Bible apart. I am loving this. I also go way back on the older conventions and hear some gems. This keeps me focused hearing the word from different voices from the past.

                    • greg (Bible Student)


                      I, too, love listening to the older programs that I’ve been able to access. What an overflowing treasure chest of spiritual gems! I am exceedingly grateful to everyone that has had any part in making them available.


                    • Lee Anthony

                      Hello, had work all day. Good day though. My wife is certainly a blessing yes, she will come to a conclusion for herself soon i think, i will just keep giving her time. My next conversation with anyone at hall will be my boss, I will be peacable and respect him even if he dont me. Anyways, havent looked at email, will check for meeting info Thanks. I listen to alot of the talks on all my days off and some days when i am not. Really helpful. I will check that brothers name out.

                    • Lee Anthony

                      Checked email, didn’t see any info on Sunday meeting.

                    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

                      Mistake, I sent it to Greg. Let me go forward it to you now.

                    • Lee Anthony

                      Got it, Thanks. I plan to switch my work around, usually work in mornings on sundays but will go in afternoon maybe. Either way i will catch the 1st part or the last at least. Its too bad, I lived in Joliet before we moved last year, not far from chicago at all then….

                    • Jacqueline (Bible Student)

                      Lee and they will upload it to their site after it is over. I think the link is there.
                      Now this is your link for Sunday services. It gives you a sense of family in the Lord.
                      You don’t live really far now. I think I will check with Br. Peter to see if you are near another class.
                      I had a relative that was an elder in Joliet and is in Naperville now I believe. He doesn’t deal with me and his brother but does with our children. I am really the one that move myself away from their association however as they are disrespectful yo visitors that are non witnesses if they visit for dinner. So I cut loose from them.
                      As I get older I have had to learn to choose my battles carefully and get away from mental and emotional battles because it steals my peace.
                      Now that I know God got this, I don’t feel the need to convert, I just listen to elders in my family that are intense.

                    • Lee Anthony

                      Sounds good, thanks Jacqueline. I am only a couple hours from Indianapolis, i think the closest place to me that is of any size is Terre Haute Indiana.

            • greg (Bible Student)

              Oh! Jacqueline,

              Do you have any idea how often I recall the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes? Yep, out of fear, no one can dare to admit they can’t see them.

              Sigh. So tragic.

              I really appreciate all your expressions. Thank you so sincerely. I find so much reassurance and encouragement in them.

              And I cannot help giggling when I imagine you standing in court, without any representation, just an invisible God your sole support, against all the firepower of a skilled gang of thugs, and you come away vindicated. Yep, it’s no wonder they want to punish you.

              It’s truly sad how nescient they are, how blinded they are by their cravings for retribution, how thoroughly they seem to believe that violence and revenge schemes will make the world a better place, how tightly they hold on to the idea that God wants them to make others suffer as an example to all.

              Weird isn’t it, how they decry The Inquisition on one hand, and then Inquisitorially “put people to the question” with their other hand.

              Their actions really do make it difficult to love and forgive them at times. I always try to remember the words of Jesus when he said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

              Keeping you in my prayers and in my heart,

  • What is a conscience class . I know ive been thinking maybe i can help my friend and others from the inside so to speak and i think that might be a conscience class does jw.s know what that is or recongnise or is it a private way we feel although i studied4yrs i didnt get baptized so cant be d.f and my beliefs are the same asB.S just wandering

    • Jacqueline

      curious, the “concious class” are the witnesses that are aware they are not hearing the truth and are standing up to the governing body by questioning them and leaving even if it means losing family.

    • Jacqueline

      Curious, I have found a witness has to come to this awareness on their own. Either by God calling them, getting Fed up with ever changing doctrine and the fact it assumes all brains were checked at the door and are disfellowshiped or someone mistreats them. A lot of witnesses are like Catholics They like Pappas or pope governingbodies to tell them exactly what and how to think,act and feel. One elder told me if they are wrong in what they teach us the governing body will pay not the flock. Even if he knows it is incorrect. Social systems are complex and jobs are even at stake. So many Will stay to keep family in tact. Complex.

      • Thanks jacqueline i seen the exsresson on this site and thought i would ask i was qlso wandering if any one knows the gb motivation as i have asked before it dont seemto be money and does any think they truely believe the false teachings they profess its hard to figu er out but it is sure a blessing to be able to have a placs w here we can share and think with others unlike the KH thanks again.

        • Jacqueline

          Motives are subjective I think. They do live in absolute luxury and older ones can have younger brothers helping them in a valet type way. (I have seen with my eyes plus told by persons living there) So it takes money to keep this huge building work and lifestyle going. To tell the truth or drastically say hey we made a mistake, like Raymond Franz suggested might cause a huge break a way and they need the money to cover the many sexual abuse cases plus other litigations brought against them. So even if they discern some wrongs monetarily it could be a disaster. But if they are men of God they should be interested in truth.
          Rich holdings of their magnitude has to cost a lot. By contrast Jesus owned very little. In fact the Apostles and early Christians weren’t known for having huge building to meet in or lots of islands and property. Little Vatican of New York city.
          So it is difficult to figure out if they believe what they say or if it is just to costly to admit the doctrines don’t make sense.
          I also love having a place to talk without fear of elders coming up to me at the meetings wanting to question what i have said or discussed.
          I had them come to my house a few months back although I left now almost 5 years and everyone knows I am a Bible Student.
          He said we miss you and want you to come back. (There were 5 of them in the yard) I told him he could talk to my elders if he liked but I am not a witness and you really don’t have anything to say to me. I knew his phone was on so I told him what he was likely to hear if I came to his meetings and I called the names of all seven alledged pedophiles in that one Kingdom hall and who they raped. He left in a hurry and I am sure it was taped. But I felt good standing up to him and the others looking on.
          This is a fear free zone. Take Care curious.

  • E wJust want to say that this site an the ones linked to it are very positive and i believe they are saving people from a lonly path fortunatly i was only involved 4 yr and am a unbabtized publisher havnt been to meetings 3 plus months but my real challange is a freind of whom i am very fond she has been jw 35 yrs since a teenager iand i cant seem to find a way to talk with her she gets angry if anyone says anything negitive about gb wt ect and woudnt think of comming to the site as she thinks anything against the wt is satan backed lies so iam not sure how to approach her she is spanish and speaks graet english wish there was a bible student sisster here in oregon that speaks spanish but none that i know of iam open to help and advice thanks

    • Jacqueline

      Curious, you have a difficult situation. Can you be a friend with this person without bringing up religion? They won’t speak to a Bible Student either if the person does not accept the governingbody as their decision maker on understanding of the scriptures.
      Maybe if you get this friend to see you as just a thinking individual who wonders about God, they might be open to talk.
      But if you speak against their governingbody one witness told me it is like speaking against the Pope. I have only found the strength to break free for five years and didn’t know how powerful this body has become. They are on the in house TV and in the children videos so it might be difficult for this person to break this mind control.
      I hope I have helped. Maybe someone else has a better solution. Take Care and enjoy your New Year.

  • Jacqueline

    This is a show that aired and on August 10, 2014 CNN is reported to be airing a show on McLean. Hopefully he will be recognized and caught.

    Internal records now coming to light from the settled lawsuits may help explain why the church agreed to settle the cases. Documents show that the church knew for years that some prominent members were sexually abusing children and did little.


  • K

    What if a person doesn’t want to fade but instead wants be a “conscience class” JW and go about the Lord despite of the organization……how should they proceed?

    • K

      What if a person doesn’t want to fade but instead wants be a “conscience class” JW and go about serving the Lord inspite of the organization……how should they proceed

      • Jacqueline

        Hi K, I did that before I found the Bible Students. It was difficult for me because it seems I could understand the bible and my conversations and comments would come out before I knew it. Sometimes I would forget what the organization actually taught and say what the spirit helped me to see the scripture actually meant.
        You may be an entirely different personality type and not as vocal as I am or was expected to be in the congregation. Even when I stopped commenting the elders would want to know why. So it was a losing situation for me and my family didn’t want me to get DF’d. I had to be free to serve the Lord and speak the truth as I understood the scriptures even at the door of a householder. Since there are some who would burst if they couldn’t speak freely, we saw the need to write the article.
        You have freedom and liberty in Christ to make your own decision that makes you comfortable. No one can blame you for any decision you make. For those inside of Babylon the scripture at Rev. 18:2-4 says get out of her if you don’t want to be a sharer in her sins. I felt I was supporting them as I knew their views on pedophilia and that they are an organization not necessarily about the Lord’s work. they just sold buildings for 385 million bringing their total to 805 million dollars. It is consistent with what I saw as they sell K Halls all over. They are big business and I felt I could not personally support them with my number in their pursuits. I am more of a Bible person and not a follower of a religions outside thoughts so it was difficult for me when I became of the “Concious class.”
        These are just my thoughts. Maybe some of the others that left can give their thoughts on why they made the decision. Ultimately it is you and your relationship with him on a personal level that counts. In Christian love, Jacqueline

  • Peter K. (admin)

    olympiadteam.ir- Thanks for being so encouraging. We are glad to welcome you into our website family.

  • What’s up to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this web site, and your views are good for new visitors.

  • Lucy

    Thanks so much Jacqueline. Your message is lovely. I realise that what I originally wrote may sound a little “oh poor me” but I was in a pretty bad mindframe at the time. The feelings of entrapment are much older than my relationship (which is most likely not going to last – I’m not that naive, once he finds out about the JW thing and my messed up family I’m sure that will scare him off! lol!)It’s just being in a relationship and having to hide it from everyone has intensified all these feelings I have been trying to ignore for so long.
    But I will take your advise and just try the softly-softly approach with my family – continue to fade sloooowly. Its just frustrating because I would love to be 100% honest with them, but I know that they will respond terribly to that. Thanks for taking the time to reply – it is a great thing you are doing, and I really appreciate (and need!) this sort of support. Having people who know what it is like – that being a JW was our entire life so it is not that easy to just up and leave – is really important. 🙂
    Thanks again, Lucy.

    • Jacqueline

      Lucy, I know. I was one for 61years but now that everyone in my family and extended family know I feel free, confident and good. We will be here for you. I found studying the bible and hearing some other thoughts on things helped me. I made myself some new friends!. It is not easy leaving, only because of loosing family. The set up of the organization and their doctrine is easy to reject. I just had to warn you about Mommys.LOL. You might need to move to another apartment and not go to the kingdom hall at all. You will go in and out as you break free but hang in there. Tell me if you will, have you read many of the articles on this site? What do you think about the Armageddon ones?
      PS. If I don’t answer right away remember my sleep time is the opposite of yours. (:) And thank you for the compliment. Also keep in mind after everybody go ballistic they calm down when they see you don’t grow horns if you leave the organization. It might take a year but many here are trying the wait on her to come back approach with me and Love Bombing. It backfires, I end up sharing thoughts with them from the bible. So you need to have some strong point from the bible if asked for an explanation. They seem to understand if they know you haven’t abandoned God just the control and fear.
      Take Care and God Bless. Others will probaly have something to say if I shut up for a minute.

  • Lucy

    Please, please help me! I am a second generation JW and was baptised when I was 10 years old – to make my parents happy. I have never believed and am now a 23 year old who is pretending everyday of my life just so I don’t lose my family. I have tried to fade. It isn’t working. I moved away from my home town but teh witnesses in my new city keep reporting back to my parents. What can I do? All my extended family are JW and I love them all dearly and couldn’t live if they cut me off. But I am suffocating! I’m in love and in a relationship but I am terrified that teh elders are going to find out because then I would be disfellowshipped and my family (who are REAL believers) would never speak to me again. Please tell me what to do..

    • Jacqueline

      Lucy, hold on we see your comment! It brings tears to my eyes and I want to pray and find scriptures and words to encourage you my dear little sister in distress! Others no doubt are doing the same. Time difference we are asleep while you are awake. Be Back.

    • Jacqueline

      Lucy I had to think and I ran into another 80 yr old psychology friend at dinner. Lucy what I hear is “I am in Love and a relationship.” Normal for a 23yr old. And yes you will be DF by the elders. So since you are 23 and don’t want that you probably should just stop pretending and stop going to the meetings. If you are not calling yourself a witness or representing as one in any way, the elders will not come after you. Now I don’t know about your mommy and daddy LOL. Your family can talk to you if you just leave. After the anger subsides. If this is what you feel you want at this time, act mature and not mouthy, your parents just might understand. But you are not going to go unscathed, so hope that you have friends to sustain you. I only give this advice because you don’t want to get DF. I am not dealing with the other issues because you didn’t ask me too, you stated your situation. The ones reporting back to your family might fall under hurtful gossip, you know how to handle gossip. They also might just be sincere thinking they are saving you from the fire. I don’t know the whole situation, they might just be right.I don’t know. But I feel the pain in your plea. NO ONE should be forced to go to a place of worship if they don’t want to from their heart and they are past majority and live on their own. God isn’t accepting it so what is the problem? Trembling at men is what lays a snare. (Pr. 29:25) Luke 12:4 says fear him who has the power to destroy everlastingly in Gehenna. No one is going to like going to a religion that use extortion, fear, intimidation and spying to keep members. That is one of the components of a CULT. Is there a central ruler, whether one man or a body of diety like men in charge, that enforces themselves on others?My mother is deceased so I am not about to tell you what to do at your young age as regards your parents. I felt my mother’s wrath when I refused to teach 1975 as the end of the world. She stopped speaking to me until after 1975 for about 1yr. I was scared to cross her. So you are on your own with your parents especially with a lover in the mix. I have given you my thoughts and now you have to weigh it all. You can’t reason with a witness if they are still under the spell of the GB so less is best. Try not to alienate them with your tongue, it’s a fire.(Jas. 3:6;Pr.39:1;)It can cleanse, make pure or it can tear down a relationship and it can never be brought back or healed. We here have RSS feeds so we under the first amendment: Freedom of the press. You are dealing in a real personal relationship and when the chips fall your mommy and daddy will be there to pick up the pieces. I’ve been in love (:) wink, wink. Take Care.

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