Ez 34:4,5: “4 The sickened ones YOU have not strengthened, and the ailing one YOU have not healed, and the broken one YOU have not bandaged, and the dispersed one YOU have not brought back, and the lost one YOU have not sought to find, but with harshness YOU have had them in subjection, even with tyranny.
5 And they were gradually scattered because of there being no shepherd, so that they became food for every wild beast of the field, and they continued to be scattered.”
These are additional thoughts contributed by various ex-witness, witnesses and Faders in various stages. Links have been provided to get personal stories.
The word “fading” means gradually leaving the Watchtower Society as contrasted to suddenly leaving by either disassociating yourself or being disfellowshipped which is where you are formally pronounced “no longer a Jehovah’s Witnesses” and so kicked out then rigidly shunned often in such extreme fashion that some people prefer death and a few actually do commit suicide.
Since different people have different circumstances, what will work best depends upon your own situation. This page does not attempt to tell anyone what is best for them, but it does give what are believed to be helpful different thoughts and ideas. Sometimes best approaches can be totally opposite; for example: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/183916/1/For-Active-JW-Men-Ideas-on-Awakening-Your-JW-Spouse-Long-post
WHAT SOME HAVE SAID ABOUT HOW TO “FADE” FROM
THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
Click this link to read some comments that are helpful:
HOW TO HANDLE “THE BIG” QUESTION
A Watchtower-appointed Elder (or even a non-Elder person/s doing the Elders’ bidding) will generally ask “Do you think this is Jehovah’s organization?” The hope is that you will say, no, so that they can have you shunned. Or you may be asked “do you think Watchtower is right about everything?” Their goal is for you to say No, also to be able to have you declared a non-JW to be shunned.
You can say something such as “What!! Why in the world! Your asking me that is offensive!” You may also add that the Elder and local Body of Elders is not doing a good job of taking care of the congregation. Just don’t mention the mother organization and its heads.
The Elder will often then come back to the question saying something like, “Well, I’m just asking if you think this is Jehovah’s organization? Yes or no?!”
Then you can answer him with something like “And I already told you that you have absolutely no right to question my relationship with Jehovah God Almighty!” Then you can add some more comments about how he and the other local Elders are doing a bad job of shepherding the flock, without mentioning the Watchtower Society or its GB . Say you don’t want to go into specifics.
As said, Fading is not a Disfellowshipping (rigid shunning) offense. Saying that you have doubts or thoughts that Elders can misinterpret as “apostasy” to those Elders or other JWs could get you disfellowshipped if they want to go after you. Given the “favoritism” shown by JWs, if you are an Elder’s relative, for example, they might say “Well, she/he just needs some time to feel better” or “actually she/he is just depressed, and wouldn’t normally say that.”
On the other hand, an Elder might reason that by giving their own relative the boot, such “zeal” might enhance their standing within the Watchtower organization, so be even more inclined to go after you.
Often Elders do all they can to not let you “just quietly stop attending, preaching door-to-door or outright leave.” Many will say that when Elders say they want to meet with you, it’s best to just avoid them and their questions and eventually they will give up. That might work, or in some cases, you will be hounded no matter what and even if you move from one continent to another.
Saying “I just don’t want to go to the meetings any more” can also be grounds for their getting rid of you, announcing “So-And-So is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses” which is automatically followed by your being shunned.
At least so far they cannot announce you are no longer a JW just because you are inactive or turn down their requests for making a shepherding call. You can say you are depressed, too busy, not feeling well, will contact them when ready, anything to put them off. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
You can also send a registered letter telling them you will call the police if they persist in harassing and or trespassing. Often that will be all that it takes for them quit.
Another option is to calmly state that you will sue them if they announce you are no longer a JW. That can make them to back off on trying to make you attend etc. Just be sure you mean it. Find out in advance if they have enough money to make it worth the time and money that it will cost for you to get them into court.
Also, before going into court, have as much documentation as possible such as signed and dated statements from others whom they may have hounded or stalked in the past. Click a link for even more ideas and comments:
WAYS PEOPLE HAVE BROUGHT FRIENDS AND FAMILY OUT WITH THEM
THE FOLLOWING can be combined etc, however works best for your own given situation. See also elsewhere on this website for some specific ready-made items.
LETTERS WITH SCRIPTURES PLANTING: You send letters or other items that are in a loving tone yet convey the real truth. Since JWs respect scriptures you include scriptures that counter the cherry-picked scriptures Watchtower uses for its zanier ideas. So long as you don’t sign your actual name or give your actual address, they can only guess who sends the material.
KNOCK-OUTS: One such item is that you send or leave about to be found items that show Christ rather than Watchtower is God’s MOST Faithful and Discreet Slave. This undermines Watchtower’s entire underpinning. Another knock-out item is a postcard or leaflet that simply has an easy-to-remember single word like the name of a website. For example if it’s christianwitnesses.com they go to the website and can get tons more of information.
ORAL DRIP FEEDING (BY LUKE): You converse with JW family and/or friends although carefully and selectively about doubts or view points. This can be effective but also be risky. Some who act friendly may well turn you in as a possible apostate.
ARE THEY IN A CULT QUESTION: You either speak with or send letters that ask if someone whom the receiving JW/s knows/s such as a neighbor may be in a cult. In it you describe what a cult is, not just a small fringe group, but sometimes also large groups that harm their own members and others. As they read over the characteristics of a cult, they automatically compare them to the Watchtower Society.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: You tell JW friends or family you are always there for them no matter what so that when their own crisis develops they know they have you to go to and rebuild. This idea can be credited to Jim Whitney.