The whole purpose of addressing sin in our brother is to win or gain him back! Jesus himself gives directions for handling sin in our midst. In Matthew 18, Jesus said to his disciples that they must be humbled “like children” before being “greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (vss1-6). Jesus then further explained that as a shepherd would go to great lengths to recover a straying sheep, so would be the rejoicing over recovering one of his sheep who had strayed (vss.10-14).
Then, specifically, Jesus carefully outlined a protocol for his disciples how to humbly proceed in recovering a brother (or sister) who might be in sin. (1) First, go to him or her privately to enquire about the sin; (2) Second, take or three other mutually respected individuals who might further enquire about the sin and encourage repentance; (3) Finally, if he refuses to listen take the issue to the congregation— not to the elders or some “governing body”—to weigh the problem and act accordingly.
Matthew 18 15 “ And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 “ But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 “ And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer. 18 “Truly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20 “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst.” NAS
After the “church” (congregation) makes a decision—a unanimous one or nearly so preferably—the Church is to withdraw from him their fellowship. Thenceforth the offender is to be treated “as a heathen man and a publican.” Although we could no longer have Christian fellowship with such, we would treat him as a “heathen” (Gentile) with justice and kindness and the love of pity—but not with the love of affection due to a brother in Christ. The disfellowshipped would be outside our religious and social company—as invited to the home—but not outside of our love, care and desire to help. Although not appointed to any office in the congregation, he would not be forbidden attendance at meetings. Repentance even up to the moment of the Church’s judgment is possible. To secure repentance and reform is the very object of every step of these proceedings—not his punishment. . The penalty of withdrawal of fellowship is designed to serve as a protection to the congregation to separate those who walk disorderly. But the separation is not to be esteemed a perpetual separation—but merely until the reproved one shall recognize and acknowledge his wrong and to the extent of his ability make amends.